I need some advice, guidance on the court case.
Things seem hopeless, H will not meet and have a meeting with our lawyers, he will not discuss the kids with me, he comes rarely every Friday to see the kids for 3 hrs, He blames me because a few months back he had a child support, and spousal support claim that he wanted me to take, but the spousal support was to run out this month and I haven't even found a job yet, but I have been applying.

I have finished my LPN course and My exam on Jan 12,05, I have been applying ever since. He works nights but will not agree to any schedule with the kids for him to look after them when he can.

I am according to him, work full time, arrange daycare for nights, afternoons, and days, If I am called in lots he does not seem to see it as a problem for the kids. He will not take them to their sports if I am working.

My divorce papers stated that It will be hard for me to work full time for a number of years because of the kids ages and because he will not do his fare share with the kids.

There is no order yet for spousal support or the child support and I still live in the matrimonial home and we have a van payment etc. He has now cut my money in half and will leave me with barely enough to cover the cost of groceries every month. He does not care! And then in anger and arrogance he thinks if we go to court he will win and not have to pay spousal support.

I want to work but not at the expense of the children, if he can't take them to sports who will, they are his kids, he does not seem to realize it.

Also he is involved with another woman 10 yrs older she left a 25 yr marriage, and My H has a restraining order on her ex for protection apparently there was a fight and he hit my ex and blamed him for their separation.

Things are just so ugly, yet I am trying, I want to meet with him to help get an order and a separation agreement in place. He despises me yet what did I do, he had the affair.

He is all wrapped up in pranic healing and new age stuff and beleives that no one can tell him what to do. What to you think will happen in court? We have a judicial case conference next month.

I suggest you stop trying to meet with your STBX and tell him your lawyer is handling it from here on out. Make sure your lawyer is a shark who wants blood.

You can't afford a milquetoast lawyer. You need spousal and child support. Your H needs to fork over money for daycare.

Since a lot depends on your state, county and even the judge, talk with your lawyer to find out what's reasonable.

If you can't get court ordered support, consider getting permission to move close to family or friends who can help with the children and sports.

Congrats on the LPN! You all do great work. Maybe you can work for a rich private client who will be flexible about the children.

Heck, if you could find a rich old person who needs full-time care and wants to live in his/her mansion, you could move in with the kids and rent out the house! Just an idea.

Remember, now is not the time to skimp on legal fees. Skimping now will cost you alter.

Good luck.

Thanks for your reply. I do beleive I have a good lawyer, she is just does family law. I am not sure if she is a shark but she seems to be doing well. We go to court in a few weeks, and hopefully we will get an order in place for child and spousal support.

She has never heard of his lawyer and is not sure how he will be in court. I am worried though that my ex will not pay the spousal support he thinks he shouldnt have to, we live in bc.

I have found a job as and LPN but of course they always start as an on call position. With me having the kids full time and him not having them much at all, I know it will not do well to be working full time, especially if the kids are with a babysitter on the weekends. It is so unfair to the kids for him to not chip in and do his part as a father.

He told me the other day that no Lawyer was going to tell him how much spousal support he had to pay and that he would figure it out himself, I can't beleive his attitude. And them with that he told me to F**k O**. Nice eh!

I wouldn't count on your WH for anything. He sounds just like my WW and you'll just end up disappointed and angry time after time.

I think you need to put some separation between you and WH and let the legal stuff take its course.

I just got through my legal proceedings. It definitely did not help WW and my relationship, but definitely made things uglier. But I'm happy to say I survived and it is definitey a relief to have it done. I am now am looking to get on with my life.

Hang in there and be there for those kids!

Miker

I don't know anything about BC divorce law. Here, you have your spouse pay support to the court, who then pays you. If a spouse doesn't pay up, he's in contempt of court and thrown in jail.


What about your family? ARe they near by? If not, can you move near them? It will be essentail for you to get some help.