I am on an online dating service. I got an email from a guy who was very nice on paper, but then he called me and he talked politics too much for my interest, he seemed to not be able to stand his ex-wife and they had been divorced 7 YEARS (bitterness is a turnoff for me) and his voice got on my nerves. His laugh did also because it was one of those crazy sounding laughs. A voice is something I am VERY picky about. I have never even met this person and talked to him ONE time. I am talking to someone else and am wanting to get to know him, but it doesn't mean I would not see someone else.
SO the voice guy emailed me (I didn't respond), then called me (I didn't respond) , then emailed me to see if anything was wrong or if I was disinterested. So I thought I was doing the right thing by responding although I didn't give him all those first 3 reasons because I thought it would be rude. I simply said

I got your message, thanks for calling. I am busy wrapping up this crazy project! I am actually talking to someone that I really would like to get to know, and see where it goes. I appreciate you getting in touch with me though.
Take care.

Maybe I should have just said I wasn't interested, but I get this in return.

Thanks for the email...I understand and am used to it. No biggie.. 
Was there any reason in particular that you aren't interested, after our phone call?? just thought I'd ask..
Good luck with everything and if you ever change your mind, please let me know, I"d love to buy dinner and get to know you better, since we have a lot in common, including being Christians.

Ok maybe this is why some people don't online date. He sounds incredibly insecure and like I am a jerk for not being interested when we are both Christians <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I feel like I should not respond, but in a way I want to be completely honest now since he is so pushy.
I just barely even talked to him- WEIRD>

<small>[ February 18, 2005, 11:57 AM: Message edited by: adgirl48 ]</small>

I used an oline dating service for a short time also. I dont think you ned to respond, you were already honest with him, and he was with you. What is the problem?

He doesnt seem pushy to me, he said "if you ever change your mind". He seemed like he was OK with that, just curious about what turned you off. If anything, maybe you should have been honest with him at the start, when he first emailed and you didnt respond, thats when you should have told him how you felt.

Get used to this, it comes with the territory. You are not meeting someone face to face whenere there are a whole host of other ways to interact such as facial expressions and body langusge. It doesnt seem like he is a weirdo unless he starts calling you all the time or calling in middle of night or some other weird behavior. Just let it go, you told him your feelings and he told you his. Its done

smiles,
Dawn

I'm with Dawn on this. If you reply then the message will be that there may be some interest there and you might show it if he will just persist. I'd let it go.

Thanks- I just felt like he wanted more of an explanation, and I Didn't know if I owed him one.

Because you don't know him very well, I would be up front with him. You might be leading him on by making up excuses. He maynot even care that you want to give another person a chance because obviously in his mind you are not that serious yet and he may think he has a chance. Or he maybe either stubborn or too stupid. Tell it like it is! That is my thing!

Ali~

I did reply, because I hate to be ignored, and I told him that I wasn't interested, and I didn't talk politics much and I wasn't bitter towards my ex. That ended up starting a debate where he said he was just reading a political book and he wasn't really bitter towards his ex, and that he loved everyone til they gave him a reason not to (which is when I wanted to intervene and say part of being a Christian is loving the unlovable- it isn't conditional- it may be love from afar but we are still called to love- then I decided preaching to someone I didn't know was not smart) and him saying that he had a hard time finding a good Christian woman but that he was used to it and that I was beautiful, a princess and that he hoped things went well with the other guy.
This is when I want to crawl under a table and hide because I feel like the bad guy. SO instead I just said I appreciated the compliments and good luck.

I see what you mean about desperate, adgirl. I applaud you for applying the Golden Rule and giving him an answer, but you are not "the bad guy" and you do not owe him a second chance.

Of course, I'm sure you know that already, and I realize it doesn't change how you feel. In fact, I'm sure I'd feel very much the same way, which is one of the reasons I hate the idea of "dating."

I suppose it would be nice if we could make everyone happy, but we can't.

I just can't figure why he would think I would be attracted to someone that starts a debate over me not being interested, when I didn't even talk to him but ONE time on the phone and a couple of emails. That just seems scary to me.

Heh. I gather that he didn't think you would be attracted to him. Hence the desperation.

Gnome
I didnt' think of that! Maybe you are right. His pictures look like he is attractive, but could be deceiving. When he threw in about being a single dad and no one wants to date him because of his child, I started to say, well, interesting because the guy I am going out with Wed. has an INFANT, and my exH had an OC and I was going to help raise her, and I dated someone else who had 3 kids!?!? BUT I just thought- nah. Not worth the trouble.