I have been with him since I was 16 and he was 15. We have been married 9 of those 15 years. 1/05 he said he wanted out, saying he was not happy anymore and that we needed time away. On 2/15/05 he filled for the big D and I do not want this at all. I want to work on things between us and try to get back what we had before. He does not, he does not want to be married anymore at all. I can not even think about him with another person, I do not know who I would handle that. I can not even see myself with another man. I hate all of this that is going on and feel like it is a dream and I really want someone to wake me up!!! I want my life back, my family back. Our little girl lives with me and he is still in her life. I just hate it that he can just turn his back on me after so many years and walk out the door so easy, like I am nothing to him. I really think he is moving way to fast, not even a month after he walked out on me he filed. At this point I do not see my life without him in it by my side.

Have you checked out the general Marriage Builders site? Though it is listed under infidelity, much of the information translates to marriage even if third party is not involved.

You have to set your own boundaries. What are you willing to do? Keep in mind that the more you chase, the more he will run. You cannot hold someone that wants to be free. Sometimes by letting go and making them realize what they are losing, they will "wake up." Even if that doesn't happen (which appears to be my story!), you will regain your value as a person and grow in your relationships with God and others.

Good luck! And take some time to lick your wounds...this is a lot of pain. Tina