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#78442 09/19/02 02:50 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 10
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My h told me he is having trouble deciding to come home or not. sep for 8 months, 2kids, married for 6 years, togther 12 years Anyway he says he wnats to see other people he feels he did not soe his oats before us But at thr same time he wants to come home he says it is tearing him up. But just sat he said he was going to get a divorce What should I do I feel I could still fight for him Or should I just let him go????? IF I do let him go Do I take him back when he finds out it isn't all that? He simple claims He wants to date other women WhAT do I do it is killing me and the kids!

#78443 09/19/02 04:25 PM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 252
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Oh my gosh, MarvMist. What a horrible situation to be in. I know what you mean about 'sowing their wild oats' though. My H left 2 months ago and it's a long story, but I feel part of it is that fact that prior to meeting me, he only had 2 very short term relationships. Then he met me and 14 months later we were married. He was a responsible person from even a very young age and at the age of 40 (now) I think a Mid life crisis has hit big time!!!

I feel for you. How are you feeling if you've been apart 8 months?? That's a long time to be separated. If he's been gone that long, and wants to sow his wild oats...has he already dated some women?
It's a very complicated situation obviously. Perhaps someone who is more of an expert in this could reply to you.

I'm sorry this is happening to you..I'll keep checking your thread to see how you're holding up. YOU have to decide if you want to fight for him...how have you coped so far without him?

#78444 09/20/02 09:59 AM
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Married people dont date. It is a terrible thing, selfish, childish and ridiculous. Your husband has a wife and children. Sew his wild oats...please. I get infuriated with the lack of responsibility WS flaunt while the BS gets stuck in reality. And he is torn up....or poor him...how sad that he should have to feel bad for destroying a marriage, disillusioning his children, and devolving into a wretch of a human being. I mean how cruel that he should lose a wink of sleep over the problems the family he helped create might face when he just wants to get some jollies. How much should this man have to suffer?

Obviously I am being extremely sarcastic. I just have been there done that. Your marriage may be worth fighting for and worth saving...your husband may come out of the fog but until he does dont allow yourself to suffer. You dont deserve this. Focus on yourself...if and when he becomes worthy of you it is wholly your deciscion to take him back. You deserve all the praise and support he deserves a swift kick in the pants.

All ofcourse is my not so humble opinion.

ayslyne


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