Divorce final 2 weeks from tomorrow.
Got in first fight with now ex.
Lying never stops. Guess where he is moving to now? If you guessed in with OW you guessed correctly.
You know right there that adds volume of feeling towards him at this time.
Talking about summer vistation with the kids. I pulled out "You know I still get CS when you have the kids"
In the final degree we never talked about overnight stays with opposite sex or cs when WH has kids. We talked about those items in beginning but not in final papers.
I know for those saying CS is for the kids. That I sound angry or that it's wrong to get it while he has them (for an average time of 4 weeks for the whole summer).
I do still have house payment and other bills from kids even while they are with dad. Honstly didn't mean to inform him that was that in that way. Until we fought about OW and him living with her kids acting like their "father figure".
OW has 3 kids from 3 different relationships (and not all marriage).
I pray and felt like I was moving on until OW is mentioned. I feel like God is telling me to deal with all of it now. Which is good, but painful. Most items I think I'm doing well in.
He tells me he's moving in with her "for the kids". LIE. Kids have told him they do not ever want to meet her. So he could "be closer to them". Now they have to have her and her kids there. When he is at work who will watch them. One guess?
This is a woman who left her kids, with family, for months, for work (HA!- one guess who had to travel and work at the same place at the same time?). If she can do that with her kids what do my kids mean to her?
I have serious issues to work on, but you know no one said this process was easy.
That's another thing that gets me. Those who expect everything to be a-okay because divorce is final. What people use to tell me (until I set them straight) is that the affair doesn't effect the kids, it happened to me not them. My kids are 5th and 10th grade. An affair and all that it implies and results in does not affect them? I don't think so.
I feel better now, thanks for reading.

{{{{lost rainbow}}}} You're right. Divorce is just a piece of paper, a milestone on the road to recovery, but not the end of the road. And you're also right about the kids, too. If anything, it affects them more than anyone else. We're the adults, our kids are dependent on us for their survival.

My STBXWH didn't get this either and, though I try hard to let go of the resentments, the way he treated the kids is the one area I can't excuse. My STBXWH threw me out and moved MOW in after false reconciliation. The kids begged him not to let her be there. He told them they "should love MOW" like he did and since they didn't, he threw THEM out. Sorry, to me that was inexcusable and unforgivable.

He tried to justify it later, saying his dad wouldn't have let him decide who his dad could invite into their home. What? His dad never would've thrown his mother out and moved another woman in the same night. I know he was high, kids were his niece and nephew, but we were their legal guardians. This kind of selfishness, the same kind your XH is displaying, still gets me riled up four years later!!

I had my attorney add this to my divorce decree -

"The parties will not have overnight guests of the opposite sex while the children are present, unless married."

After promising me he would not be living with OW, he moved right on in with her. Then said it was only temporary till he got a place, then when he didn't show for the temporary hearing and the judge granted the divorce, he said that it changed everything and made it impossible for him to leave there right now. Like I thought he had any intention of leaving! NOT

But, he can't take the kids for visitation because they live together outside of marriage and so until he gets his own place - or marries her, no overnights.

<small>[ February 25, 2005, 06:34 AM: Message edited by: 1confusedBS ]</small>