I know that no one but myself can make this decision to take her back or not.

We've been separated for four months now.
My wife decided one day she needed time to think after being very depressed(for what reason I don't know, she said at the time it was because she married young and thought she missed out on something)so she moved out, not even crying at all (emotionless) and she had started taking zoloft about 2 weeks before. Nothing I said would get through she just kept saying that nothing I could do or say would change her mind.
So after crying and begging her not to go I helped her move to a place that we found together I helped her move most of her stuff and bought everything she needed for the house. The reason I did this was because we had not had any problems up to this point except minor ones, and I figured that if she needed time to think I would give it to her. during the next week the neighbor came over and welcomed her to the neighborhood brought cookies and beer. She told me he was weird and flirting with her so I told her as did her doctor to get away from him and avoid him but she ignored us both. A week later she told me that she had slept with him and for me to get on with my life and to move on. So to protect myself from any expenses (so that would protect me from any major purchases that she incurred) I filed for divorce. Over the next week had my life threatened by this guy. On the 3rd week of our separation she came off the meds because the friends she was with told her that she don't need them.(people she had only known for 2 weeks and all drunks and sleep with anyone) she called crying and was sorry wanting to come back. She has now stopped having affairs with anyone (4 in the 1 month of separation) and quit drinking and driving(which she never drank more than 1 glass wine every 4 or 5 days when we were together) she says she realizes what she had and there isnt anything better than what we had. I miss her but the last 2 years of our marriage I had the feeling she didn't love me at all by the way treated me and going through all of this has just about given me proof. She says she does love me and things would be different and she knows she treated me selfishly and has changed. Not 100% sure but still planing to divorce. Will be final around May 1st. Oh she still has contact Daily with her first affair buy they are just friends she says and I believe her, she has never lied to me in 6 years of marriage. But even so I cant handle her being friends with him. I just don't know some days I miss her and some days I don't. I just don't feel like throwing it all away although I guess you could say she did that.

Maybe she just wants back to prove something to herself or maybe she really wants back for good. Go by what your gut tells you to.I think counselling is a good idea before you can both answer that question. Its only been three months for me but if she ever does want back, that would be my course of action. I do love her and miss her but I think its best that I think of my own well being and that of our kids.

From my own experience, you are better off working on yourself rather than deciding whether to take her back or not. I have tried it three times now to take my XWW back, we talked about getting back to gether and making it work. She disapointed and betrayed three times now.
I still love my XWW and I certainly miss her, on the other hand I will still move forward, just the other day (Sunday),I for the first time in 2 years decided to go back to church and you know what it was a wonderful feeling. I asked god to forgive my XWW, bless me and my kids and family members and thank him for helping me pull through my ordeal.

Thanks Guys and Good luck to ya.
My gut is telling me not to take her back because I'd be setting myself up for more hurt, as of now we don't have children. She seems to change moods frequently and has always been very impulsive and immature.
Besides the whole first month she was with this guy she kept telling me the best thing she did was get away from me and she really liked this guy and that she didn't regret it. And now says she dont even remember saying that(oh she remains friends with him but he's now trying to work on his marriage and has eneded it with her, I think ( but not sure I mean she really seems sorry) thats the reason she feels sorry now.
I tell you after six years of marriage my heart is saying I can trust her but my mind is saying no and move on and if it works out later fine.

The first step to starting over after an affair is to get NO CONTACT with the OP. Will she agree to never contact him again (and report to you if he tries to contact her)? If she won't, then I don't know how much hope to hold out that the M will get better if you do take her back.

C

She did tell me that she would not have any contact with him but she would want US to be friends with Guess who? His next door neigbor.
I have not been to her house since halloween night when she ended our instant messaging very quickly and after about 2 hours of not hearing from her drove over and found her there and she said she had shared a beer with him and forgot that I was on the computer. Whats weird is we talk all the time and I dont hate her and I still love her I just dont think she loves me too much, but I guess time will tell. Thanks

If you decide to try to recover your marriage

Sounds like YOU need to make the rules of her returning into your life. If she wants to come back YOU set the boundaries. If you don't want her to be in contact w/these people tell her it's this way or no way..

Show her this site - figure out what went wrong and fix it...Both of you should jump into Plan A...

Sounds like she had a little mid-life anxiety or the 6-7 year itch..JMHO - everyone deserves a second shot at happiness - youmight be short changing yourself by note trying to work this out.

Just don't let her make all the rules when it comes to outside friendships. Should my WH want to try and recover our M - I already have my list ready of what I REFUSE TO ACCEPT...what I deem as healthy for our M and what is not healthy. If he doesn't want to recover the M - then I accept that decision as I'll be damned if I'll go thru this again. I've been living a nightmare for almost 2 years and I'm done one way or the other....

Good Luck - Hugs and Healing Vibes being sent your way.............