GULP!!! I knew that was coming my way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Believe me I am not looking right now. If I was interested in a person, I would set some boundries. I am being honest here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
OK so where did my morals go??? Gulp! Well, I am still "by myself" no one in the picture, although I do find someone to be very attractive at this point. And there is always hope for later down the road.

I told the same thing to my sister about needing time for herself before she jumped into a relationship after her D. But she was and still is so happy. I mean this is 4 years ago that she met him. The respect is unbelievable. So I don't want a great opportunity to pass as I once did. OK Please go easy on me. The husband and I were in a break up and OK he was a "rebound" but I really like him a lot and he liked me more. But my heart was still on the Mr. and I could not return his feelings. I don't ever recall being with someone like that to treat me so wonderful. I was stupid! A lot of family and friends agreed that I let him get away because he was the best thing that ever happened to me. Soooo my point? If I find someone like that again, I don't want a good thing to go. No A thinking.....

I am seeing the attorney today at 4:00. I going to see what my rights are etc.

OK later.....

Ali~

<small>[ March 10, 2005, 02:46 PM: Message edited by: Ali88 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, if you decide to come to Equine Affaire let me know - we can hook up for a drink/dinner..Watch some "chaps" going by..hahhahha </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LMBO! You got it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Ali~

Taking a nap before I go. I am getting sick! Whaaaa!

“””I don't ever recall being with someone like that to treat me so wonderful. I was stupid! A lot of family and friends agreed that I let him get away because he was the best thing that ever happened to me. Soooo my point?”””

That reminds me of the old stand up routine the guy does about giving a cracker to a starving man. And the guy who gets the cracker thinks it’s the best cracker ever. When in fact it was just a plain old saltine. Had the man not been starving, it wouldn’t of seemed like such a gourmet meal…..

I know. But he treated me with respect. Remember it took me awhile to realize that H. affair was the icing on the cake to speak. It took me to two years to realize that he treats me like garbage. I don't think he is doing it intentionally. I think he learned this behavior from his parents. A very immature family. I think I had a lot of insecurities and was afraid to be with anyone else. I was told basically that I am not good enough and that no one is not going to want me because I didn't finish college. My family is school fanatics so I was given that message too while growing up. Call me a rebel! LOL. But seriously, I met H. when I was 18. Did I ever have grown up experience for a "real relationships" No, not really. What does does several high school relatinships offer? Not a whole lot. So when we had our "break ups" and I did date other guys, I had this bad message in my head that I wasn't good enough. Ya see? just learned that. So whem he treated me with respect and dignity and I felt uncomfortable with that!
I know it is out there. And I deserve it!

Ali~ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I am cleaning the house!

BTW,

The one thing that I am extremely confident in is horses. I was told I could go far. But unfortunately, my parents could not afford the the high end of showing. Major $$$$. When I got older, still couldn't afford it. But I ended up teaching. I always thought I had a career with horses. Just love um I guess.

I am now focusing on my dream to keep me going.
Just some FYI there.

Love to get dirty! Hurt understands that concept!

Buh bye! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Ali ferocious! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Ali88:
<strong> I know it is out there. And I deserve it! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, yes, yes.... Apply one domestic principle to your next relationship. Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry because it'll cost you too much and when get home you'll have a bunch of crap.....

Lost - Very insightful again...and an honest way to look at A's..
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That reminds me of the old stand up routine the guy does about giving a cracker to a starving man. And the guy who gets the cracker thinks it’s the best cracker ever. When in fact it was just a plain old saltine. Had the man not been starving, it wouldn’t of seemed like such a gourmet meal…..

Yes, yes, yes.... Apply one domestic principle to your next relationship. Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry because it'll cost you too much and when get home you'll have a bunch of crap.....
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As long as you know this going forward - you don't get "sucked in" to yet a dysfunctional/unhealthy relationship..

Ali88 - Yup..When not at the barn I'm little miss priss..perfect hair, make-up, clothes, nails..get me in my barn duds and I can get as dirty as the rest and be happier than all .....

LOL. Good Philosophy there!

Plus you might get a little pudgy around the sides if ya know what I mean? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


That is exactly it! I will not get sucked into another bad relationship. Heck if I ever get that far. I know what I want and I know what to look for in a person now. I can thank H for that trainning. My self esteem is a lot better too. But sometimes wonder would a man really want someone who already has kids? Sometimes, I feel like used merchandise. I know some guys just may want to have fun, but really? Opinions? ought ohhh whole new can of worms to be open!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Ali~

<small>[ March 11, 2005, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Ali88 ]</small>

Ali..........I felt like you.Who would want me?? After all if my own H did not care enough to take care of me why should I think that anyone else would.I thought all men wanted a younger,prettier woman,someone with no kids,or in my case grandkids.But I am finding out that this is not true.
Men want someone that is real,sincere,trust worthy,loyal,respectful and so on.
I have been amazed at the response that I have gotten lately.Everyone says the same thing.There just are not that many good women out there.LOL that is what I always thought about men.

So if the time comes that you do get a D and are ready for a new relationship,,,,,,,you will find it.There are men that will be just like your H,and there are men that will be completly opposite of him.Or if you choose,,,,,,,,,you can stay and pray that your H sees the light and helps to recover your M.

On March 18th we would have celebrated 28yrs of marriage,it will be our last aniversary,and we will not spend it together.Not that it matters it was a day he always forgot.Its sad to me tho.At this point I do not even know if I am capable of loving another.I have only been in love once in my life,all I wanted was for him to fight for me...........instead he helped me pack and watched me walk out the door. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I still believe men and women can be friends,and it does not have to be anything more.

Ginger - </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Men want someone that is real,sincere,trust worthy,loyal,respectful and so on.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What about "high maintenance"?? LOL

Yes, I am those things and more..Yet, WH doesn't seem to cherish or want those qualities. He prefers MOW who lie and cheat on their BS. WHY??? Does he truly believe they possess those good qualities and are just in a bad marriage? That he was put on earth to give them the attn/ they don't get from thier spouse?

I too wonder if I will EVER met someone and really connect - have real intimacy/friendship etc. I can't let that doubt hold me hostage in my current M..I don't have any baggage - but, lets' see - it appears some men (WH) don't care how much baggage their A partner has - kids, husband, whatever...Since WH doesn't actually see himself ending up w/one of his A partners their baggage isn't an issue for him.

All I can say to you girls is be careful when you do start looking - you dont' want to find a man like my WH..and they are out there. Treats you like gold, smothers you w/attention then stabs you in the back by having many relationships..and hids them all sooo well

HUGS

That is what I am so afraid of! All glamorous in the beginning and then you get stabbed. I don't want another broken heart. I am not sure I could deal with that again. That is why I think the way to go is the friendship first. Think about it. You already have trust. They know all there is to know about you. There is no act to put on. They know all your bad qualities and they are still willing to be your friend. Sounds good to me. And just think of the respect and communication!! OK am I dreaming? Seriously, I just hope one day that I can have that kind of person in my life.

Baggage? Gulp! Kids? Sniff, sniff. I know what you mean Hurt. Very deceitful baggage. But would I fall into that catagory? Though, I am trying to make myself a better person. So in case I do meet another person (man). I will know what I need instead of guessing. Make sense. And no, I am not making myself better for someone else. I am doing it for me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> In my opinion, I have learned a lot about myself. And like Hurt, I have a lot of wonderful qualities to offer. High mantentance? Hee hee hee! I guess I could be considered high maintenance. LOL. I mean what is high maintenance? You have to look good right? I mean isn't that part of the needs of you SP? Keeping up with your appearence? So it cost money to keep up your appearence. Nails, hair highlighted, clothes. Although I do great at Marshalls considering we have the best one around. I am very money conscience. Well, in my case I have to be. But really. Isn't that what most guys are attracted too? I don't mind getting dirty as I said before. I love to get sweaty and play. I can without my makeup. Hair up in a cap. NP! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Ahhh, every one was complaining yesterday that I smell like a horse. I consider it perfume! He hee

Ali~

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 11:03 AM: Message edited by: Ali88 ]</small>

Perhaps if you would cut your hair really short, you would not need any highlights. Im not sure if knowing a person for even 20 years before you marry them would make any differnce. I knew my wife for over 62 years before we married and she was a virgin and my best friend for 62 years before we married. 3 weeks after we were married she ran off with a midget she met at the circus. So i think it may not matter how long you know a person before marriage, because my little filly really surprized me.

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 01:03 PM: Message edited by: Woodmaster ]</small>

Woodmaster - I posed some questions on the spin off post and this statement you made - answers them all..quite simply...
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As a connoisseur of wood i have learned apple trees will only produce apples they will never produce oranges even though you want an orange. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I guess I'm spoiled - I always got what I wanted..It's hard to accept not picking the right husband..or begging/praying he'll change into what you want..He's no different than your apple/orange theory...

Hi all.

No, it is not about length of time you have known your partner, it is all about being friends. Again, I think if a friendship forms first then it will be a whole different story. But that is just my opinion anyway.

Length of time doesn't matter. I knew my husband 8 years before we got married. And it has taken me another eight years to realize this was a bad decison on my end. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Cut my hair short? I look terrible in short hair. I will wait until my face tells me too. But women with short hair are higher maintenance because your style grows out faster therefore needing to get it trimmed more often than women with long hair. I have two boys who goes in every three weeks or so. Me? I go in every 8-10 weeks and 2 a year to do my highlights! And who says women
with short hair can't have highlights? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Bald? Ahhh no! Can't find too many men out there that are attracted to bald women. Can you just see on Sports Illustrated a hot girl with a bald head? LOL on that one!

OK later y'all

Ali~

Hurt, I guess you and I have a lot in common <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi all.

No, it is not about length of time you have known your partner, it is all about being friends. Again, I think if a friendship forms first then it will be a whole different story. But that is just my opinion anyway.

Length of time doesn't matter. I knew my husband 8 years before we got married. And it has taken me another eight years to realize this was a bad decison on my end. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Cut my hair short? I look terrible in short hair. I will wait until my face tells me too. But women with short hair are higher maintenance because your style grows out faster therefore needing to get it trimmed more often than women with long hair. I have two boys who goes in every three weeks or so. Me? I go in every 8-10 weeks and 2 a year to do my highlights! And who says women
with short hair can't have highlights? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Bald? Ahhh no! Can't find too many men out there that are attracted to bald women. Can you just see on Sports Illustrated a hot girl with a bald head? LOL on that one!

OK later y'all

Ali~

Hurt, I guess you and I have a lot in common <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 07:08 PM: Message edited by: Ali88 ]</small>

problems again

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 07:07 PM: Message edited by: Ali88 ]</small>