Over the last year my husband as been trying to go back to school, the nearest school for him is 64 miles away and it would take hours away that we can't afford. Plus now that our son is going to school in the fall I would be able to go to school BUT the school I want to go to is in AZ. My mom built a 5 bedroom house and offered to have us move in with them (I have other family there) so that way there is someone home with the kids whether it's days off of school, vacations, sick, etc. We would be able to both go to school and FINALLY be able to put money away and pay for my oldest daughter to go to college (still 3 yrs away).

I sent a certified letter yesterday explaining our plans and I'm not sure if Wisconsin is hard to move out of state with children? Some say yes others say no.

I tried to get together with my ex to tell him in person what we want to do and discuss the girls. I asked him to check his schedule when he has a day/time we could get together. When he asked for what I had "ears" around (kids)and told him it would be better to say in person. That was over a month ago. I emailed him 2 times after that to find out and got no response....
I hate the fact that I had to send the letter I don't want to hurt my ex. but yet I want to be able to provide a better life for the kids and our future.

That is so tough. I don't know your situation at all - Is he a good Dad? Would you be willing to give up custody while you went to school?

64 Miles doesn't sound like much to me (I do that one way to work every day!). I know my situation, my stbx is a great dad and I could never take the kids away from him/ not allow the kids' father as a part of their everyday lives.

But that is my situation, not yours. Don't know the particulars of WI, but people move out of state all the time now with kids. Be prepared to give 8 weeks in the summer and 2 weeks at Christmas (that's what my friend does) for visitation.

My WH had a boss once who was married to a woman who had a clause in her D agreement that she would never take her children out of state. When they were forced to move to another state by the company, they tried to make it work. The kids flew a lot to the new home and the mom spent a lot of time in the old state. It lasted about 9 months. The new H quit his job and moved back to the old state. I think they're still married.

You never know. It might depend upon how your XH feels.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Is he a good Dad? Would you be willing to give up custody while you went to school?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">depends on what your definition of good dad is? He's ok. NOWAY would I EVER give up custody. That wouldn't be in their best interest. I won't be done with school for 8 yrs.

I don't want to take the girls from him but yet at the same time there is better opportunity for my husband and even myself which in turn would really benefit the girls and our son. 64 miles is a pain in the butt when you are having to go through Chicago <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> with driving time, it would be different if H was able to work part time but that isn't possible.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Be prepared to give 8 weeks in the summer and 2 weeks at Christmas </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I already figured that and have no problem with
it. DD#1 is saying NOWAY she doesn't want to go back there at all <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It might depend upon how your XH feels </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know if he says no, then the courts get involved.

It's sad that at one time we used to get along great, I mean heck after our divorce we hugged each other, remained best friends (I had known him since I was 11 yrs old, started dating at 16 yrs old). But when him and ow bought a house together and moved around here he changed (his family said so too) we don't have that friendship, it's ashame. I feel awful that he didn't get back to me so I could tell him all this in person.

i've been wondering the same thing .
I have a job opportunity out of state that would be a heck of a lot more money then i'm making now. i think here the judge has to give permission to leave state. big move though -OH to Fla (i have family there). i haven't brought it up to the stbxh yet, he'll go through the ROOF!!!!

I moved out of state when me and the ex were just separated. Ex traveled alot and me and the kids moved where he was, were there less than 1 year when affair became public knowledge.

There was no family, just started making friends. Moved to a state (city) with family and ex agreed because he was never there.
(I am glad we moved because hurricane came less than a month and damaged the house we lived in.)

From my understanding it is best to get the ex's agreement first. The amount of time your kids spend in the summer with ex depend on the kid's age. My 15 year old had much more of a say than my 10 year old. There are basic guidelines, but other factors can help play a part in the final determination.

Hi there-

I just had to chime in because I am from WI. WI is very much in support of equal parenting, so it is extremely tough to move more than 150 miles away from the other parent much less out of state.

If I were you I would get all of your ducks in a row and talk to an attorney. You also want to talk to your XH to see if you can work something out with him.

I am not saying it is impossible, but it will be a tough fight if your XH decides to fight you.

Take care and God bless!
K

I know when I talked to Family Court they said it depends on the reasoning for the move. If it's just to move they don't go for it but if it's for a better job or something like that then it's a possibility. I've heard a few people say it's hard but then I know of a few people that were granted the ok to move.

I'm hoping that my ex will be ok with it.

You are right. It also depends on how much time your XH spends with the kids, etc. I wish you the best of luck

Take care and God bless!
K

I'm in the process of getting permission to move. I have been planning to move back with family ever since Fogman moved out last April. I stayed around "working on the M", but now I have filed. We never planned to live near each other if we split up. I have been offered a wonderful job and will be near my wonderful family again. He's lived 6 hours away for months.

I had to write an affidavit to motion the court to grant us permission. My L doesn't see any barriers to moving, so I am hopeful. I'm sure Fogman will object, but he is abusive with charges pending and there is a restraining order for my daughter and I and supervised visits with my 2 DS's. Plus he has given us zero money (he didn't show for the child support hearing), so I cannot afford to run the house alone.

My situation is different, and each state has their own way of doing things. I filed at-fault for adultery. I recommend you contact a lawyer as soon as possible.

My ex sees the kids every other weekend. He's not really involved with them during the week or if there is parent/teacher conferences or when we were having major behavior problems with my #2 DD. The list goes on and on in that direction

I know he got his letter yesterday I got the card from the post office today. I'm shocked he didn't call me to say yes or no. I hope we are able to sit down and talk about everything. I tried this a month ago but like I said in my first post he ignored my 3 attempts:(

When I saw the signed card today, it made me emotional, it's been a hard decission my H and I have been talking about this for a year now and it seems like things are coming together nicely (let's hope with xh too). I even discussed the wanting to move to my youngest daughter today.

EnchantedLady,

I'm guessing your H will fight it.
I would fight it tooth and nail.

In our state, I will get every wednesday night from 3pm Wed til 8am Thursday as part of standard visitation. If a man doesn't see his kids for weeks or months, he will lose track of who they are. They change so quickly. It is only because standard visitation is pretty generous here (10 overnights a month + a month in the summer etc), that I would agree to a joint filing with W getting custody.

-AD

I saw my atty last week & asked to have something written in that said stbx could not move more than x number of miles away. She said stbx could move if he wants, the only thing we could do is ask for a 90 day notice of intent (probably not the right term). I live in CT.

Stbx has emotional ties to a foreign country & it's conceivable he would like to move there to start his "new life". I'd like to think he has a greater desire to be with our boys, & he may. He was fussing about so much time with them being "an ideal", & "unmaintainable" a couple months ago but not since.

He told me in the beginning of divorce proceedings I could trust him but after he fussed about time with our boys I just can't.