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

Try to seperate the affairs to the past. This is difficult ,but atleast it was back there and not today.
I am a christian and when I get too preachy, it turns my husband off. Yet if I stray from the Lord-he's the first to notice!
Try to find common ground to rebuild a friendship, so to speak. It's hard to work things out when you don't even like the person. There is a fine line between love and hate. Love can be restored.
I see how the mens' mag would hurt you.For some reason, many men can't seem to understand that it's a betrayal and affects your relationship in a negative way.

In order to stop the emotional destruction, you will need to move self-image to a higher level. How does God see you? Do you believe him? Can God be wrong? Ofcourse not! Give your anger and hurt to God and ask him to give you the "peace that surpasses all human understanding". And concentrate on what YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUSELF. Start acting like a queen. God does not give us fear. Men are attracted to a self confidant woman, and you will be again. Do not allow yourself to be affected by what he says(sound too easy?). Just remember that you are a child of God and made in his image-who elses opinion matters???
Concentrate on the gifts and talents that The Lord gave you and you are not now gratefully aware of. The dark side of fear and disappointment has robbed you of realizing your God given petential. This does not come from your husband-you as a christian know where it comes from. DON"T FALL FOR THE LIES ANYMORE.
Thank God for making you as wonderfully as he did.
Put yourself on the wednesday prayer chain here.
I'll keep you in my prayers too.

Something to ponder... Our marriages can easily fall apart if we make our spouses an idol.

I'm at a loss for words. My husband of 22 years had an affair 2 years ago that produced a child. I just found out last week. I found a receipt for a pumpkin halloween outfit. My children are 21 and 18 so I knew it wasn't for them. I confronted him and he at first said all the lies you would expect. He finally said "I have a baby girl, she is 1 1/2 yrs old" thats when my world came crashing down. I'm at a loss we seemed to have a happy marriage. I was happy with everything. He said it happen April of 2000 and he was only with her for a month.(who really knows what is the truth)He just stop calling her because he knew it was wrong. She got PREGNANT!! The classic "the condom broke" whatever!!! I'm so sad. The life I was living isn't real. I can't even do day to day tasks. I don't know what to do or how to go about it. I can't eat or sleep. I just don't care about anything any more. How do I survive this! Do i tell everyone? Do I kick him out? He said he loves me and will do anything i want but who trust what he says. Every time he leave the house I'll always wonder if he is see "his daughter". I keep asking why i know that question can never be answer to my satisfaction. I have no one to talk to about this I don't want any one to know. so I have to cry in the car before work, after work and early in the morning so no one can hear or see me. Why do i care? I just want to scream!!! I cry all the time. I'm so sad. i thought we were going to grow old together. How sad for me. i probably don't make any sense but I need help.

You are courageous, strong and you will pull through this! All that you are feeling and acting out is normal, BUT, and this is the kicker, in order to get yourself out of this rut, you must see a counselor for YOURSELF to help you see the objective parts of your relationship. I don't know anyone who can do this on their own, without resorting to old, comfortable behaviors that will only lead to more heartache for you. So make an appointment with a psychologist or a marriage and family counselor to help you see the positive side and sort out the negatives. It will be like a weight off your shoulders.
Good Luck <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />