I'm at a loss for words. My husband of 22 years had an affair 2 years ago that produced a child. I just found out last week. I found a receipt for a pumpkin halloween outfit. My children are 21 and 18 so I knew it wasn't for them. I confronted him and he at first said all the lies you would expect. He finally said "I have a baby girl, she is 1 1/2 yrs old" thats when my world came crashing down. I'm at a loss we seemed to have a happy marriage. I was happy with everything. He said it happen April of 2000 and he was only with her for a month.(who really knows what is the truth)He just stop calling her because he knew it was wrong. She got PREGNANT!! The classic "the condom broke" whatever!!! I'm so sad. The life I was living isn't real. I can't even do day to day tasks. I don't know what to do or how to go about it. I can't eat or sleep. I just don't care about anything any more. How do I survive this! Do i tell everyone? Do I kick him out? He said he loves me and will do anything i want but who trust what he says. Every time he leave the house I'll always wonder if he is see "his daughter". I keep asking why i know that question can never be answer to my satisfaction. I have no one to talk to about this I don't want any one to know. so I have to cry in the car before work, after work and early in the morning so no one can hear or see me. Why do i care? I just want to scream!!! I cry all the time. I'm so sad. i thought we were going to grow old together. How sad for me. i probably don't make any sense but I need help.

My w told me something 4 weeks ago that had my world come crashing down. She had an emotional affair w/ a man. I am no where in the same situation as you are but I felt all the emotions that you do & will feel. I won't paint a rosie picture b/c it is a very very difficult time. Everyday you will go from one emotion to the next (if you look at some of my postings they go from angry to depression). I found so much comfort here w/ all these people. Knowing that others have gone through it. I thought my w. & I were going to grow old together too. The past weeks have been a huge challenge. This is worse then losing my mother. We were very close. I have lost alot of weight, my job has suffered, I have suffered, & I really didn't care about things. Then I figured something out. YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH THIS! You do. Everyone talks about an emotional rollcoaster. My ride goes up & down everyday depending on others, myself, etc... This was my wake up call for me to get right. I felt like I was assault by my wife and the other guy. I have taken that assault and turned into positives. I am so much stronger and I get stronger everyday. I feel like somedays I have reached the lowest point and then more stuff happens & the points gets lower. God is the only thing that gives me strength. I was never a very religious person before this but that is my peace.
You will be fine. It will be hard. Don't think that you are in this alone. I thought the same thing about life not being real. Be sad, be angry, be frustrated, be all the things that you feel b/c that is part of the healing process. Be there for yourself. I hope this helps.

<small>[ January 27, 2005, 12:39 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>