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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 5 |
My husband told me last night that he was thinking of leaving. " it's not that I dont love you, It's just I cant keep putting in 125% and you only 75%, I dont know how much longer I can keep this up"
Now what I want to know, is by what scale is effort measured ? Mutual satisfaction? How clean the house is? who gets to say, "you're not trying hard enough" I'm battling Bi-Polar disorder and he's upset with me because I'm not working 14 hours a day AND making dinner for him. What he seems to forget, is I helped him through his depression, (now i'm calling up the score sheet, I know, Bad!) and he does'nt seem to realise that it's just as exhausting for me to get up and face my life in the morning, as it is for him to go bust his butt at work .
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 245
Member
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Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 245 |
Welcome to MB. You're in the right place (MB), but probably not the right forum. I would suggest Emotional Needs for a question like this. This board doesn't get much traffic.
I'm guessing that you probably feel much the same as your husband - that you're putting in more effort than he is, and not being appreciated for it.
If you've read the material here, you might already recognize that your needs are not the same as your husband's needs. And when you try to do something nice for somebody, you tend to pick something YOU would appreciate, which is not necessarily what HE would prefer.
Anyway, I suggest you tool over to Emotional Needs. You'll get a lot more attention.
And read the material on this site. It explains a lot about the dynamics of a relationship.
good luck!
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