For those of you who are of a praying nature, just give a little thought to me tonight if you would. I'd greatly appreaciate it.

I'm pretty distraught.

you got it. Anything anyone can help with?

No, I don't think anyone can help me. I'm in this alone. I just can't go to MC much longer. I come out distraught. I weep through the session and then I cried all the way home. It's sucking me dry and I've got no hope. Hopeless is horrible.

Oh Anne..I'm so sorry you're having such a bad night. I'm sending good thoughts your way. Are you sure there isn't anything we can do?

I have to think that your reaction to these MC sessions is sending you an important message. It's really not good to be putting yourself through this. He's offering just enough crumbs to keep you hanging on, out of guilt if nothing else.

If you don't have love left for B, and can't imagine staying married to him while still holding onto a sliver of your sanity and happiness, then why are you torturing yourself? It's not good for you, and by extension, not good for your girls, either. They need you whole and healthy.

You don't have to continue suffering to 'earn your divorce.' You've earned your peace and happiness. You do know that, don't you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> If not, I'm reminding you. With a nerf 2x4. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}

Martes

P.S. You've got my other email if you need it, okay? I'll be sure to check it in the morning, in case.

Thanks, Martes.

I'll let you know if I can think of anything.

I know the feeling well, Thats exactly how I came out of every session. I would cry all the way home. Be sick the whole next day and it didnt bother jerk I was married to one bit.

You have to hold on to your sanity, I told you before that your sitch was so much like mine.
My marriage almost killed me, dont let it continue that way for you.

Ill pray for you..headed down to Fla this week but Ill check in.

Lots of love and prayers
Dawn

<small>[ March 03, 2005, 10:53 PM: Message edited by: sunrise1 ]</small>

I'm sorry you are feeling bad about things.
Call if you need to talk.
Remember to think of the positive things, including the show this weekend, which should be lots of fun.

Hey Anne,

How are you doing this morning? Feeling any better? Newly said you're doing something fun this weekend--hope you have a good time and forget about the bad stuff for awhile.

Take care of yourself, okay?

Martes

GB,

Sorry I just saw your post, said a prayer for u, hope u r doing better today.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It's really not good to be putting yourself through this. He's offering just enough crumbs to keep you hanging on, out of guilt if nothing else. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I lived like that for almost 3 years, it is not worth it other than being able to say u know u did EVERYTHING in your power to try & save your M. Sometimes u just have to let go.....

Only u will know when u can.

{{{{{{{{{{{GB}}}}}}}}}}}}

Anne,

In general, MC is not supposed to make you distraught, suck you dry, or make you weep endlessly.

What are the issues? If your husband is reframing reality for you so that you feel terrible and guilty---I would discontinue the counseling and proceed with the divorce. If he gives you any grief for that---turn him into the cops.

Thank you all for your support. I'm doing a little better today.

K, I don't think B is purposely reframing reality. I just think his reality is completely different from mine. I have to believe that or believe his is willfully hurtful to me.

I doubt the cops will be needed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi gg,

I'm sorry you're feeling unhappy.

I'm sure I've said this before but I hated MCing. I cried during, after & intermittently over the course of the next few days.

So many hurtful things being brought up, so little hope, so little willingness to work on our marriage from H, & more.

((((gg))))

Hi again gg, I just noticed your "whatever" at the bottom of your post.

My son will often say "whatever" to me & I tell him it's passive/aggressive.

What do you think?

Nam, thanks for you kind words.

I put "whatever" because I couldn't think of a good tag line and I was a little confused that B would be reading this site and yet using it to prove how dishonest I am with him.

I do think "whatever" as I used it, and as your son probably uses it is passive/aggressive. My sister uses it when she disagrees with me or simply wants to change the subject. She's definitely not passive/aggressive, she's just aggressive! LOL.

Whatever, is actually a usefull word & as much as I hate to admit, I use it too. It says a lot of things, f.u., conversation is over because I saw so, I won't listen to your c..p anymore, your opinion is of no value, I have no more comebacks, I'm unwilling to tell you what's really on my mind, etc...

The thing is, you have to take your pick because it is so non-specific, but that's the user's problem if they are misunderstood. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />