1. The OW called MY HOUSE!! Apparently she and exH still SPEAK to each other, they just don't SLEEP with each other. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Anyway, my DD was sick and exH told OW, and OW was concerned so she called me to see how she was!

Okay, I'm probably the least vindictive exW I know, but having the woman who stole my husband call MY home phone and ask about MY child???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> All I can say is that woman has balls of steel.

2. The exH is thinking of moving to FLA--next week! He was offered a short-term job that pays well and thinks he'll move there for six to nine months and just return home and everything will be just fine! Seriously! He wants me to watch/keep his dog, and when and/or if he decides to come back, he expects to just get her back. Same for the kids. He will be completely leaving their lives when they are both in high school, and then six months later just waltz back into their lives. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> In six months, my DS will likely be in the military, finished with basic and assigned somewhere overseas--and my DD will be almost graduated, doing SAT's and GSAT's, and applying at colleges and for financial aide! How can he think he can just walk away like that and everyone will be "on hold" for him and just take him back when and/or if he comes back! Why should I pay for his dog's shots and vet bills and dog food all year just to grow attached to her and then have him take her back?? AARRGGHH

3. I have a court date with exH regarding contempt of court. This is easy. He wants to stop paying CS, but our children are 15yo and 18yo and the age of majority in my state is 19yo! He is also claiming that his salary decreased...but sadly he DOES have enough money to pay the OW a salary of $1800/mo. So, uh huh. Off to court we go. Our decree declares: (contempt #1) Sell the house, 1/2 goes to each spouse and he sold it and I never got a dime. BTW, he kept saying some expenses needed to clear etc. BS!! And I don't mean "betrayed spouse"!! (contempt #2) Maintain health insurance on the children. Well, they have been uncovered for one year in June, and he kept saying, "Next month...next month" and never covered them. It DOES affect the kids to not have medical coverage.

4. I have finally found a guy I like and I'm as giddy as a school girl. In fact, I can barely think straight and it's kind of fun. I can't believe I'm 42yo and feeling like a teenager. I also can't believe how nice it feels to have someone like me for who I am...someone who WANTS a short, smart, cute, funny, empathetic, spiritual, honest, faithful woman (in other words ME!) I almost feel dizzy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Maybe it's full-moon voodoo or something, but these have been some WEIRD days!


CJ

CJ,

tell him NO to the dog sitting, it's HIS responsibility to care for his own animals.

It's his dog, dogs travel well, and it can keep him company on the road.

And it sounds like he's skipping town to avoid going to court???

PS..we don't want him in FLA...

<small>[ March 05, 2005, 01:05 AM: Message edited by: ThornedRose ]</small>

CJ,

Ahh yes...concern for the kids by the OW. I've had a couple experiences with that myself--the latest being a couple weeks ago when my DD had a bad UTI and had ketones showed in her urine and I passed the info along to her father via email(because she is HIS daughter).

Got a call the next day from OW who was all concerned, telling me I needed to have my DD checked for diabetes. She must have talked 10 minutes about it. Like SHE'S my DD's mom!

Hello!! I have managed to raise my DD to the age of 15. OW has managed to have 3 kids and lose custody of two of them. The other is 2 years old. But whatever...I was polite and acknowledged that her concerns were valid and that I'd keep my eye on things.

But for the other stuff, CJ...

I agree with TR. Make him take his own dog. Pets are expensive. Vet bills can be outrageous. Not your responsibility, unless you really want the dog permanently and he agrees to that. Otherwise, no way.

Don't have any good advice on the contempt of court thing other than be persistent. Don't just give up. I'm having trouble getting my XH to pay child support on a semi-regular basis.

As for the new male friend---congrats!! Enjoy how good it feels to be appreciated! I have to admit, being alone has it's perks (no answering anyone else--can do what I want when I want), but I'd trade that for being appreciated and wanted for who I am any day.

It's your time to be giddy! Enjoy it!!

LL

CJ - it is your turn, friend! So glad to hear you seem to be doing well.

As for the dog, "NO!" seems like the best answer.

As for the contempt stuff, stay on his case. It couldn't happen to a yuckier person (HIM - of course). I think maybe the Florida thing is a way to escape the logical consequences of his actions.

As for the OW, do you still have her phone number? Can you block it? You shouldn't have to deal with her. Next time she calls, I hope you ask her not to call back - unless she wants to tell you about the 'final arrangements'. (Did I just say that?)

(At my house, we may be getting a 10 month old puppy tomorrow. She is a little rescued angel and we are eager to do this. I really wonder about my sanity at doing this. Really wonder how I will afford it all. Just hope she is as healthy as the rescue group says. When I have a picture, I will try to post it somehow.)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> All I can say is that woman has balls of steel. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Nope! Girl, those are YOURS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

She's running narrow between the ears! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Suggest the OW help him out with HIS dog! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Heck if he does move, 6 months could be bring some peace to your lives so you can all remember and enjoy the upcoming events without the added stress. Everybody makes their own choices, he's making his and it's his loss. Sad, I know.

Tisk, tisk. The timing of his move won't get him out of contempt either, just digs a deeper hole.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I also can't believe how nice it feels to have someone like me for who I am...someone who WANTS a short, smart, cute, funny, empathetic, spiritual, honest, faithful woman (in other words ME! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, dearest CJ, I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

Mr. Ragamuffin kinda likes me for the same qualities too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

ENJOY!!!

A friend of mine's h did the same thing to her..moved to Georgia for a job that was a fraction of his former job. Divorce was settled and he paid alimony on poor salary. Her atty told her he would have new job one week after divorce was final..it was true. He screwed her big time and there wasn't a thing anyone could do about it.

Make sure you let the court know what he's up to. If your children were to get sick, it would wipe out those assets of your he's holding...or spent. The check when the house sold should have been made out to the both of you. If he's forged your signature and cashed the check, inform your atty and bank immediately. You can't get blood out of a turnip. (I pray you didn't sign the thing-if you did, you might as well kiss that money good bye!)

Ask the court to bar her from contacting you in any way. You can inform them that it has been established that she was not fit to raise her own children, and you want her away from yours. Your atty should be on top of this.

Why in this world would you want to take care of his dog? He's in contempt of court and they need to be notified..

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by FaithfulNewCJ:
<strong>
He wants me to watch/keep his dog, and when and/or if he decides to come back, he expects to just get her back. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Cake-eater!

Do you want the dog? If so offer to take her either permanently or not at all.

Why is it that some people think they should get everything they want, when they want it, and others should be there to enable that for them?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by FaithfulNewCJ:
<strong> I also can't believe how nice it feels to have someone like me for who I am...someone who WANTS a short, smart, cute, funny, empathetic, spiritual, honest, faithful woman (in other words ME!) I almost feel dizzy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Drat! Some other guy snapped you up while I'm not even D'ed yet. Maybe it won't work out. Maybe you'll be back in the pool when I get there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Anyway, contrats on that. Good look with court.

-AD

Hi CJ,

4. I have finally found a guy I like and I'm as giddy as a school girl. In fact, I can barely think straight and it's kind of fun. I can't believe I'm 42yo and feeling like a teenager. I also can't believe how nice it feels to have someone like me for who I am...someone who WANTS a short, smart, cute, funny, empathetic, spiritual, honest, faithful woman (in other words ME!) I almost feel dizzy!

Good for you CJ. Sounds like you've about come full circle. So have I (almost) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

c00ker,

Woah, look who came out of the woodwork here--

How have you been? How about an update??

OW called you ???

Oh man, the only way I could handle if the OW called me was if she was calling to ask about my WH to see if I'm actually telling the truth. Which I am.

But for her to call you all "concerned" about your children? Sounds like she justs wants to get under your skin to me.

Just an fyi on the florida thing - I just recently went to a freind of the court class.

They said if a spouse leaves state it will take longer but they can track them and their income eventually except in the states of FLORIDA and California.

For some reason they can't coordinate with those states. (My WH has mentioned Florida b4 but now he's fighting for joint custody so I don't think he'll be going anywhere.)

The OW is definitely on my list of people to slap.

OMG, Nicky!

I am just grinning from EAR TO EAR--I can't believe you came out of the woodwork to talk to me! Please write to me at my yahoo mailbox in my signature line and tell me all about you and how you are! Oh, I am so happy to hear from you!

Yeah--it only took what...four or five years to find the love of my life, but WOW, it was sure worth the wait. As a matter of fact, just today I was thinking that all the nights I cried and all the times I hurt so bad were worth it. I'm such a different person, but of course all the best stuff about me just grew.

Definitely write, Nicky. ((c00ker))


CJ

CJ - just wanted to throw in my 2 cents worth...I am so glad you have found that guy - he deserves you, and you deserve him, and I know that every long, painful step you've taken, every hurt you've felt, every remarkable thing that you are, has made you something that any man would be proud and honored to be a part of. May you have the peace and love and joy that that 'broken road' has lead you to.....I want it for you - if just for the wondeful advice you've given me over the past few months....

David