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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2 |
I had the affair, have been separated for 3 yrs and lived with other man (no longer) Husband was horrible during all of this(of course). We both want to reconcile but don't trust. He's having a physical relationship w/women and lies about it. Is declaring love to me via e-mail and in the next breath is talking nasty to her. I spied and know the truth, do I confess and confront?
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,707
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Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,707 |
Have you posted this on General Questions? You'd probably get more responses - it's a busier forum and probably more relevant to your issues. Are you in any kind of marriage counselling with your H? Is he telling you he's not in other relationship? It's possible to rebuild your relationship but it will take time and work. Read everything you can on this forum and consider MC.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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Member
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I spied and know the truth, do I confess and confront? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My own opinion!!
If everything is not out in the open, what do you have to build on??
Radical Honesty !!
WIWH
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2 |
Thanks. I guess we don't have anything if it's built on lies. We didn't go to marriage counc., I know live far away from him. He has told me he's not having sex or a relationship with anyone but now I know better...unfortunately, I feel I can't confront because I found out in a sneaky manner.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 106
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 106 |
You may have found out in a sneaky way, but at the same time you have to refer back to "radical honesty". You know he lied.? You are doing the same thing by holding back information; if you did get back together and then it came out what do you think would happen?
If he knows now then he has the free will to deal with it the way he choses and can't hold it against you anymore than if he found out some other way. How did you feel when you found out "some other way"?
Back off and think it all through.
If it's gonna' work, it'll work a whole lot better if he finds out now instead of later. And if it doesn't, then the two of you didn't waste time on a hopeless situation.
jnb
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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Member
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108 |
I agree with jnb,
So what if you found out in a sneaky manner.
Was he not being sneaky about what he was doing.
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