well its been 8 months in separation, 4 since wife said she wants divorce. recently our phone conversations have gone from 30 seconds to 10 - 15 min each. she calls me ,i only return calls as needed, cause she wanted me to back off. she has been nicer to me and has recently asked me to help her find stuff online for her. Just wondering what i sould do. She told me to back off that i was a jerk and hopeless she hates me, 4 weeks ago she almost got ran off the highway by a truck with my son in the car and she called me all upset. when we talk we dont talk about us just stuff.I just dont understand why she has been more talkative and nicer to me. I like it but i dont want false hope

S350

I know exactly what you are going through. the false hopes are hard to overcome.

When STBX and I sperated, she called me occasionaly. Like you I stopped calling her and left her alone as she wanted.

She would call me and we would be on the phone for an hour just talking about stuff.

If the conversation ever led to "US" she would get upset and the call would end.

I've been seperated for 18 months. D is in the hands of the lawyers.

She still calls me at times and we still talk about stuff. And even for up to an hour or so at times.

Ususally she will only call me if she is upset and needs someone to talk to and I have always made myself available for her to talk to.

For some reason she can talk to her boyfriend on the phone to the extent that my kids complain that she is always on the phone with him but when she needs a shoulder to cry on, she comes back to me.

She always comes to me when she needs help with something and she always is very nice to me.

I don't want to sound negative to you about what you are going through but my STBX sucked me into kissing her A$$ when she needed help while she stabbs me in the back to take advantage of me being what she needs when she needs it.

This can be a good thing for you or it may end up just eating away at you. You will have to be the judge of where it is leading.

All I can say is that you need to be you. You decide if she sees you as someone who she wants to be with or someone that she just wants to be there for her.

If you feel that it is the latter, please don't let yourself go through the extended grief that I have subjected myself to just for being there.

Best wishes to you
WIWH