My husband and I have been separated for 3 weeks. It all stems from my infidelity two years ago....(a one nighter, which I had planned to be the end of my marriage...I was so frustrated). My husband said he forgave me almost immediately, but has held resentment the whole time, causing him to bring this up over and over in argument. Although I told him EVERYTHING including the most sickening details, his friends do nothing but feed him lies, which I can not defend myself from.... Two weeks before he left the house, he mentioned that he did not want to wake up one day and hate me. He also stated that he did not want to just stay together out of obligation. We love each other,I know....During this separation, I have realized my shortcomings in this marriage and before, and have taken responsibility for my flaws and errors. My fear is that he has not.
My husband and I have talked, and want to work this out, but I don't have the tools that I need to have to deal with this on my own. I want him, but am afraid that I will be subjecting myself to emotional abuse if he doesn't come to terms with what I did, and get past it. I am in counselling, but he is not into that idea. My husband is now thinking about coming home, which I want, but we need so much work......I realize I haven't given up much information in this post, but this is long story....I just need some sort of guidance from someone who has been there....I need some suggestions on how we set up a game plan to continue our marriage and heal....Things will never be the same, but niether of us want it to be...however, rewriting the rules after 11 yrs is a daunting task....Any suggestions would be appreciated. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

God Bless You Jenn~~Unfortunately, the only part that I can say "I've been there" to in your post is that today has been 3 weeks since my husband left. Do you and your H share a common spirituality? Do you pray together? I believe this to be essential. You must trust in God for restoration! I do believe that counseling is necessary on his part, whether it is something he is "into" or not. If he truly wants reconciliation, then he should be willing to do whatever it takes. He may not feel comfortable w/it now, but maybe if he sees how your counseling is helping you, he'll feel differently. #1 thing is to trust in God's Word. I will keep you and your husband uplifted in prayers! God Bless --Min