I've lurked here off and on for about a year.

My spouse until recently refused to go to counseling. He really enjoyed when I was doing Plan A. In fact, he wanted that to last forever, especially the part where I had no expectation of getting anything back from him.

We've been in marriage couseling for a couple of months. He still talked over me, blamed me. I htink he was trying to get the therapist to side with him.

I was getting more and more depressed. At our last session, I said I'd had enough. I'd discovered what my family had been telling me. I matter too. My happiness matters. I do deserve to be treated with respect.

I'm a person whose wellbeing matters. I'm also of a mature age, and have to take care of my own health and happiness if my spouse won't. My parents can't take care of me any more. I have to take care of myself, and that's okay.

I guess the moral is, if you've really tried everything, you don't have to sacrifice your health and well-being just because another person wants you to. We each have choices, too.

Amen to that FireOpal! You DO matter!

I hope you clue us in a little on your story when you are ready. He sounds pretty FOGGY to me.