I'm new and I'm finding a lot of helpful info here. I do have one question that is pressing on my mind. My husband of 10yrs moved out 2mos ago today after an argument. I don't know if there is an affair involved. I do now know that we have swept many issues under the rug for years to avoid arguing. We thought arguing was a bad thing. I also now know that neither one of us knew what it meant to communicate. We have 3 children, 2 of whom have special needs. Last week he finally relented and we saw a counselor thru his works employee assistance program. However, she had to refer us to other LFMT because we do have so many severe issues. He says he will try the counseling. I am really struggling because he still won't move back home while we work on this. It will be another week before we see the new counselor. Should I be patient & wait to see what happens after a few sessions?? Or does the fact that he will not move back home speak volumes about what he really wants...that being out?? He has come to see the kids nearly everyday, which is hard & confusing when he leaves. Not to mention how much it hurts me. He has kept up with the bills. The first month he lived with a family friend and now he is staying with a divorced male co-worker. I am in such pain that I can't make head or tails out of anything he says or writes. Because of the situation with our kids and their handicaps, a divorce would put me in an even worse position. I can't do all that needs to be done for them by myself. He has always been there to help. A week before he moved out we took our kids to the zoo and later that evening he & I went on a date. Should I just be grateful at this point that we will at least try couples counseling within a week and look at that as a step in the right direction, even though he hasn't moved back in yet?? Any advice???

Mom2three

I know it is diificult to wait, but unfortunately, few of these situations get "fixed" overnight. I do think the fact that he is willing to go to counseling is a good sign.

Hang in there!

Kathi