Long story - but it's never ending so I'll just touch the high points.
After more than three years (almost four years) no contact, he wants visitation. We're not divorced, the hearing keeps being reset (not my choice) and it seems like it will NEVER be over.
First off and primarily, the children do not want to visit him, they have not seen him for more than three years, and he was NOT an active participating part of their lives before that time.
Children in this instance are 10, 11, and 15.
I have been solely responsible for ALL of their care, activities, and any expenses, for the past four years and much of the time prior to that.
He's demanding that I meet him at a mid point for his visitation - which continues to mean that *I* am responsible for making sure he has a relationship with the children - that he have equal say in all decisions, etc.
He's paid NO CHILD SUPPORT for these four years. The man is a deadbeat dad in the worst sense, in that not only has he had/shown NO interest in the kids until now, his only interest at this point appears to be control.
He wanted us to LEAVE HIM ALONE - so we did, and now that isn't good enough...
I've said he should pick the children up at their home. I see no reason to disrupt their lives by loading them up and taking them half way for visitation that he probably won't show up for anyways.
Latest word about his location is a nothing town in the middle of nowhere 60 miles from here. The half way point is 40 miles from each of us - which puts the kids on the road an additional 20 miles round trip. REDICULOUS!
Not to mention that he will be driving on unimproved roads for much of that 40 miles with my children in the vehicle. And his driving record is far less than desirable.
Even through all this guk of the divorce and court and hearing/mediations X has still not made any attempt to see the children. No calls, no requests for lunch, no meet me at the park, no nothing.
X still has not made any effort to see the kids ---- the only thing that's been done so far is a legal battle from hell. I personally think that is the only purpose is to just harrass and continue to make life for me a living hell (which is what he threatened to do when he left - and throughout most of the marriage).
Thoughts please.
Jan
