I am 41 and a little overweight, not too much, married 15 years, have 2 sons 16 and 12. I haven't ever had a career because I never figured out what I wanted to be for the longterm. Any job I have had has been shortterm or something that I couldn't move up in. Why do I pick those types? I must be the most frightened woman in the world of succeeding at anything. Outwardly, you probably wouldn't want to know me cause I don't get dressed up. I will if we have to go to some function, but everyday living I wear the sweats and the comfy clothes. I rarely feel like wearing makeup. I'm clean but I do smoke so I smell like a dragon I'm sure. I don't know when this all started with me "not caring what anyone thinks" attitude. Could be after I realized that emotionally Hubby wasn't there for me. Or could have been of my own doing, I don't know. Anyway, how do I get myself to do better for myself? Should I be thinking I should do this for the boys sakes or my hubby's or just for me?

Your post sounds like my life. I am 42 and keep at home doing more and more. I used to be a fairly vogue dresser. I would rise and have coffee while putting my make-up on. I wanted the Barbie doll image and kind of had it for quite awhile.
I have been married six years(this time) and now we have moved to a very RURAL area, I have chickens for eggs and a month ago purchased a Jersey cow and milk by hand and make my own butter and even cheese.Now I am Miss mother Earth!
I don't put on make-up everyday, only when my husband is home(only on weekends) and go to town,14 miles maybe, once a week.
Am I getting Too weird? I love this life and if it weren't for internet,I'd have little contact with the outside world.I research the livestock and farming stuff and anything else. I don't have T.V. by choice. I have electricity! We heat with wood which is not that backwards.
What scares me is that if I had to go to work-I don't even know what I would want to do now.
Oh-I don't always stay real clean. We have 22 horses and I do alot of dirty work.
There are days that I get ready to go to the barn and wear the dirty clothes from the day before, because I figure its less laundry.I am suprised that I haven't given up the washing machine and insist on doing it all by hand! Whats next? Going to the river for water???
You sound like a house wife that's just getting a little bored and wondering what you are really doing with your life. I know that most women work these days. My husband wants me home as his job takes him away and its better that the kids can count on me here.
I know what you mean when you say that you are ignored by your spouse. I love my husband, but I feel the same way. He isn't home but on the weekends and I am pretty isolated BY MY OWN CHOICE. I used to go alot to the malls. But I now have a simpler life and am becoming more earthy and less materialistic.
I went to school for interior design and worked in differant areas of the field and loved it. Some others at work I found to be "pretentious and artificial" to say the least.
All in all, I love my life more now.And maybe someday, I'll even have my marriage the way I want it. Is this possible?? Too much to ask??
I am going to post later about the in-law problems I have and need some input.
What is your everyday like??

Anncan, loving yourself is an awesome experience <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am sorry, though that it sounds like you are not experiencing the depth of love with your H that you want. I hope that will heal.

It sounds like YOU want to make some change. That's all right. Change can really give you a boost. Don't feel bad for not wearing make-up. If you want to, go ahead but it's been interesting to me to learn that a lot of men actually prefer women more natural! I had a conversation with some very pretty women friends and they were telling me how their husbands pursue them in their flannel pjs or when their hair is a mess, etc. Lucky ladies! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

It's really about feeling good about who you are inside. Beauty comes from within. You ARE beautiful. Believing it is not always easy for us women but so worth it.

So, my opinion (for what it's worth!) is that you should make whatever changes make you feel good for your own sake, to please H if you want and if you feel like it will bless your kids, even better.

But never apologize for being the real you. We all have room for improvement but we are each one someone to be celebrated..a unique creation with individual gifts to give to make our world a better place. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Anncan2, Freshstart is right-her posts are always so right on AND uplifting. We don't need to wear make-up. I like to for my husband because he sees me so little(ya know-don't want him to rember me as a slob when he is gone so much and is exposed to others that aren't.)
But it was very liberating for me to give up the make-up some of the time. I can look in the mirror and even go to town sometimes and it doesn't bother me. I stopped living for what people thought of me quite a while ago. I am getting ok with who I am and still redifining who I am.
I was raised SOOO differant. My parents did so well and did all the RIGHT things for us.
I thought that I would be spending my days playing bridge at the country club and always in fashion. I admit that I am going to have to discover what is in fashion to buy the right dresses for my two oldest daughters weddings this winter. I now live in the "back" of the back bush. I have no idea what fashion is now.Thats alright considering I live on a farm out in the middle of nowhere.
If I were in the city or suburbs again, I might pay a little more attention, but not too much.
Go to Barnes and Noble and read about starting over with careers. Or, just get out a little more or join some groups-anything really. I do my hobby things for myself now and that seems to satisfy me alot.
AS far as the husband thing, I find that when my husband acts distant or selfish, the only thing that really works is to distance myself from him(which he hates and notices) or become a bxxxh.
I wish it were differant where I could just sit down and talk to him. He will, but it falls on deaf ears-no change.
I had 7 children and once in awhile I feel like this is the most under rated and un noticed career. And the real thing is, when you end the mom thing later in life-how do you just "start a career" besides walmart at this age. Maybe real estate? What else?
I'd be a hundred by the time I finished law school!