My husband's OC is now 1 year old. We had made an agreement that he would not have any contact with the OW and OC unless I was in full agreement. Three months ago, they had a trip to the beach together with her older girls and the OC. I just found out about the trip two weeks ago. I found pictures of him and her hugging on the beach and other pix's. Out of those 18 pix's, there were only three with the OC in them. He wasn't even holding the OC. He swore that the only reason he went was to see the OC. So why lie and sneak around? I feel it just open up the scab that had just begun to heal and renewed all the hurt and anguish over what he did. Any advice?

Hi Nurse<BR> My heart goes out to you. <BR> <BR> Many prayers for you!<BR> CD<BR>

I'm so sorry. <P>It very much sounds like you are being lied to, disrespected, etc. Your H is not holding up his end of the bargain. Unless you want this to continue (see Daycare Disaster for example), it's time to Plan A or B it. If you don't give your H some consequences, he's got no reason to change. Sounds like he's got two families on the hook....<P>Again, so sorry,<BR>Jenny

Nurse:<P>I hate to say welcome, but we're glad you're here as long as you have to be in this dispicable situation like the rest of us. I hope you will find the comfort and guidance you need. It's a good place to vent.<P>Your husband sounds as if he's living a double life like Daycare's husband. I agree with Jenny that it's time to implement one of the Plans. <P>I too am so very sorry you are here and so sorry for your pain. We're here for you. Keep posting and give us some more background.<P>Catnip =^^=

I am so sorry for you, but I do want to extend a welcome. I agree with everyone that your husband is living a double life. You need to take some action or it will continue. I hope that you will come back and share with us, keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.<P>babstr.

Thank you all for your sympathy and for responding. Right now I just feel so full of anger and hurt. They are the ones who created this situation, but it seems like I'm the one suffering. My husband goes out and plays tennis and now basketball in the evenings and the OW doesn't appear to have any remorse or difficulties from all this. I can hardly go to work and take care of my family let alone think of going out and playing a sport. Plus, I thought we would spend time together to help get our marriage back on the road. But it seems that my husband is more interested in "losing weight" (that's the excuse he gives for the tennis and basketball) than spending time with me. I told him that I was going to find something to take me out of the house every other night and he said "if that is what you want to do then go for it" But what about our 7 year old and my 16 year old son? Doesn't someone need to think about them and their home life besides me all the time. I am always the one to stay at home and hold down the fort. But after the affair and the continued lying and sneaking around, why bother. I didn't tell my children about the lastest "incident" because I knew it would kill them. Why do I always consider the other person and not be like my husband and just do what makes me happy? All this anger and hurt and nothing to do about it. I really feel this OW is using this C to manipulate my H and I told him so. He says now that he can see it more than ever and that he will not allow her to do it again, but time will tell. I am I the one to pay for what they did!!!!!!!! I am sooooooooooo angey!!!!!!!!!!!!!