Hello Everyone, I'm also new to this board and am glad that PollyPureBred told me about it. So far I have found it to be very helpful in dealing with my ordeal.<P>Here's a synopsis of my story. I've been married 10+ years and have two kids. I always thought I had a great marriage. My H had an affair with someone I thought was a family friend and she ended up having a child for him. I was still friends with this individual when she had the child - I was even in the delivery room. After the OC turned one-year-old, I put the pieces together and finally got my H to confess. Needless to say, I was devastated.<P>At first the OW (also in the military) said didn't want anything, but when she found out that I wasn't going away, the demands started coming. Well, I played that game too. I made threats of court-martial action and made an appointment with an attorney. This calmed her down drastically. When she started contacting the D.A. to find out how much she was to get, I contacted Father's Rights agencies also to find out my own figures. We ended up settling on a amount and that is what she gets each month. We have done everything out of court and the OC does not have my H's name.<P>Thank goodness we moved within 4 months of my finding out and now we live on the other side of the International Date Line. My H has no contact with her or the OC. During these events he finally realized that she has some warped and demented ways of looking at life. Funny how he used to think she was such a 'cool' person - now he just basically hates her.<P>So far my H has met all my demands (no contact, vasectomy, new rings since I threw the other tainted ones away) but I always have a void. I am taking each day one at a time. I try so hard to look only to the future and not at the past, but my future somehow looks so bleak now. I do love him dearly and don't want to be without him, but I still can't believe that he committed such a heinous act. Everyone thinks he's Mr. Perfect - if only they knew. <P>I live for the day when I manage to go without thoughts of the OW or OC once - it hasn't come yet. Thanks for 'listening'.

Hey girl! Welcome abord!

Naive One,<P>Glad to see you found us! I can't believe the gall of that OW. Having you in the delivery room while she gives birth knowing it's your H's child. The nerve!!! Thank goodness you have moved. I, like you, wonder when I will ever go a day without thinking about OW (also a "friend") and OC. In fact I think I obsess about it sometimes... Anyhow, glad to hear that your H has been willing to meet your demands.

Welcome to the board, NaiveOne. Thank you for sharing your story. Your name fits me also. I was very naive and never thought that my H would have an affair. Our OC was born 8/99. We also settled on child support out of court and the OC does not have my H's last name. <P>Take care, <BR>Audrey

Naive,<BR>Your story is so like mine-eek!! Also military, also family (civilian)friend, but thank God H told me before either birth (I was also pregnant and she was planning to be at my birth!). We also got orders to the other side of the planet--Thank God again.<P>I'm sorry you have to be here but welcome!!<BR>

Naive,<P>Welcome. Sorry you have to join our group but glad you found your way here. I was at two other adultery groups, and this was my third try to find some help. You will get alot of support here. I wish that my H and I could have done an out of court. But she went to Public Aid, and they are handling it. I wonder if there is anyway to settle without them setting the amount. I guess it wouldn't matter, she would never settle for less than the state will give her. I guess that won't be happening.<P>I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I too live for the day. YOu are lucky in the fact that you were able to move. My H still works with the OW. Also I am happy that your husband has met your requests, it makes the healing go smoother. I will be looking out for you in future posts.<P>babstr. <P>babstr.