As I read through the posts in this section, I see WS's going through constant changes in their loyalties...... ICK<P>My H is once again with the OW/OC, and once again starting to make all the noises of wishing he was here with us.... When he does this he says all the right things, promises the moon and stars, and two weeks into reconciliation the table turns and H is contacting OW again.....<P>I wish it could have been different.... I have talked to OW on many occasions, made the OC a blanket at his arrival in this mess and wanted to send Christmas gifts because at that time H was here again and it looked wonderful.....(For 8 weeks this time) OW wouldn't except gifts, H saw that she would drag OC across another country if H dumped her, and the table turned again...<P>I guess Im tired of this mess, Im at the point where the separation this time is like a breath of fresh air... I dont know if I ever want to give it all again, start building love and trust to just get ripped apart again.....<P>My H/OW planned this child.. She had given a daughter up for adoption years earlier, and has never recovered... H said that she is depressed during the whole birth month and crys alot... So I kinda get what she was doing, But what was He thinking???<P>I keep on wondering what I would want H back for anyway???????? A cheap babysitter that doesn't do much else????????? Its really not worth it! If H changed in such a way that I saw a man able to make and maintain the changes on his own I may be tempted to try again I don't know... I don't even have enough faith in his ability to ever make any life changes.... <P>For now Im done.... I have read alot of your posts, I feel for each one of you in your various circumstances, This has got to be the worst byproduct of an affair, getting a child involved to keep the attachment going. I will continue to lift all up in prayer! You have helped me through some tough times, Thank you! Just wanted to give those who remember me an update....<P>cozy

Used2BeCozy,<P>Oh how I feel for you! The wishy washy-ness gets so old! I'm so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this yet once again. <P>I'm not sure what advice to give. I, like you, would be more than a little wary of letting him back into my life after seeing his change of heart so many times..... but then again, I also know how it's so hard to stand firm when he comes back around again. I will pray for you.<P>Let us know how things are going.

Hi Cozy:<P>I must admit I am horrified that your spouse and OW PLANNED OC. I haven't heard that one yet. Must have been some ego thing for him otherwise can't imagine...<P>Cozy, I am so very, very sorry. None of us should have to go through that horrible push-pull after all we have endured. <P>You said you feel some relief now that you are alone again. Have you been trying to determine your next step?<P>I am glad you're here for the support. I wish I had some good solid advice...<P>Catnip =^^=

I never thought it would go on this long... I guess I should just move on, after all its been 2+ years since discovery...<P>Seems wierd that it has been that long, but today is our oldest daughters birthday, and this is the third birthday in a row that dad wasn't here... Is that fair??? Each time he has been with OW across the border.. whats even sadder is that she didn't even mention him this year.... <P>I don't think there is any advice that would hold water, I just know that his word is worthless so I would need to see life changes that lasted for quite a while before I chose to even consider begining reconcilation..<P>I hate to say it, but somedays I wish he would just disappear.... Then I could have a funeral, mourn awhile and go on......<P>Ugh, I hate when I sound so depressed and negative... its not the norm.......<P>Thanks for the sympathy, sometimes that helps too!<P>Ya know catnip, I think it was and ego thing... she wanted his baby soooooo bad, thinking he was this loving dad that would never leave his girls....... She odviously doesn't get it....<P>cozy