I really need some help and encouragement from everyone. I received a phone call last week telling me that my uncle had been killed in a car accident in Ohio. I drove there, having to face my relatives since this all hit. They don't know except for my aunt, it was her husband that was killed, my mom's sister. <P>Well here I have to go to a funeral, the worst I have ever seen, and I am already at maximum stress from the OW/OC problems. What happens, my wallet was stolen from the diaper bag, at the funeral visitation!!!! Then at the funeral, someone ripped out SIX checks from my checkbook. So here I was crying with my family, I lose all of my credit cards, identification, checks, and over $200 in cash. I really think I am losing my mind. <P>This week has also scared me to death as far as how far could this OC situation go. I obviously started to reflect what would happen if I was in my aunt's position. She has a 8 year old, and 2 year old boys. Where would I be. All I could think of was this OW and OC showing up and going after me for money and more pain. Like if something happened to my H, the pain would continue. This will never end. <P>I don't think I can handle much more happening to me. I feel violated again by someone stealing from me, they started using my credit cards when I was still at the visitation! How sick can people be!!! I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown. Sorry I vented, it has been the worst week. My H still hasn't heard anything on the job situation, and we still haven't heard anything on a appeal, it has been two months, and nothing. Talk about the system running slow. Maybe God is trying to see how strong I can be. I don't know how much more bad news I could handle. <P>The only good from this week, my aunt told me to be happy everyday if possible, and be glad for the love in my life. She would do anything to have my uncle back, and she feels like she didn't live life to the fullest. Although my life is rough I have witnessed how low life can be this week. Thanks for listening to me. I am trying to keep my head up.<P>babstr.

babstr:<P>I am so sorry that you have had such a terrible week. What you are going through is enough without the addition of a family death, theft and personal violation.<P>I have also had morbid thoughts about what may happen to me and my kids if my H were to suddenly die. It sure has made me think more carefully about my personal finances and whose name I put things in.<P>I have finally realized that the OC will not go away and I have to find a way to deal with the situation as best as possible.<P>I have started to live my life differently and insist on living it to the fullest. This tragedy has motivated me to become a better person - at least for the benefit of myself and my kids. Since everyone seems to worry the most about the OC, I feel it is MY duty to ensure the best for my kids.<P>I hope this is just a bad spell for you and things turn around for the better. I am glad that you are trying to keep your head up. This is a positive step in the right direction.

babstr,<BR>so,so sorry for your situation. What a HORRIBLE week! Hang in there; it IS temporary!<P>Re: what would happen if... my H and I just took out another 200,000 death insurance on EACH of us (he also has 200,000 through the military), and it only costs about 30/month. It is well worth the piece of mind. I'm not sure how much of it the XOW/OC could TRY to get, but with that much money, I feel like I and my kids have a fighting chance.<P>Best wishes...

Jenny,<BR> As far as life insurance goes, the only person who can get any of it is the named beneficiary, so if something happened to your H and you and/or your kids are the beneficiary(ies) on his life insurance, you can tell the OW to kiss your @$$. I think that if he wanted to insure that the OC is provided for, he could take out an insurance policy for that purpose...maybe with a trust for the OC as beneficiary (so OW can't blow the kid's money). Check with your agent about this.<BR> Additionally, if your H doesn't have a will, he needs to make one. It would probably be wise to make some provision for the OC, but basically leave everything else to you and your kids. Maybe the will could contain language that states the OC has been provided for by a life insurance policy, and that he is leaving everything else to you and your children of the marriage. A lawyer could tell you the best way to do this.<P>Babstr, I'm so sorry that everything has come crashing down on you. I hope you notified the credit card companies (your liability is limited if you did) and stopped payment on those checks and reported them as stolen! That is such a sick thing for someone to do!! Unfortunately, it is not uncommon. It is a good idea, in the event of funerals and weddings (events which are announced in the newspapers beforehand), to make sure that there is someone at the homes of the bereaved, and bride/groom's parents during the event. Thieves have been known to look in the newspaper for such information and strike accordingly. Your aunt sounds like a wise woman, and my prayers are with her and your family.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Sweetpea (edited June 18, 2000).]

Babstr, when it rains it pours. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle. You and your family have my sympathy.<P>As far as your wallet goes (This happened to me once), you can replace the contents. This loss at least is fixable. I'm sure by now you have been advised to contact the three credit companies (TRW, Equifax, and another I can't recall) so that the theives can't open up yet other accounts in your name. <P>The OC is entitled to a share of your H's social security benifits until it is of age in the event of your H's untimely demise, but only the benificiaries specifically named on any insurance policies of your H are entitled to those $$. If it's not listed, then tough. Assets in your H's name alone will be up for grabs if no will is made. <P>Hang in there Babstr. It's hard when on top of everything else we have to deal with more of life's hardships. You are in my prayers.

I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle...not to mention everything else that happened. Just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Having to deal with all of the other things in your life...now this. It doesn't seem fair, does it? <P>Sending a big hug your way....

This week is not as bad, but still no news on jobs. And no news on appeals. I have to go out of town tomorrow and I still don't have my ids, and credit cards. I am soooo tired and angry. <P>babstr.

babstr,<P>First of all, I'm so sorry about your uncle. I send prayers to your family.<P>What is it with this week??? This week has been a bad one around my house too!! I can't believe that someone would actually steal your stuff at the visitation. How sick are people??<P>Continue to keep your head up. Just try to look for the positive things that surround you.

Thank you all for your words of kindness and encouragement. I am out of town this weekend at my parent's house. My H is out of town on Army buisness, which of course always makes me nervous cause that is when he had the incident, out on orders. talk to all of you soon.<P>babstr.