H and I had a very minor disagreement over the weekend that blew up into something huge. I can't say or do anything right, apparently. Then, Monday night, I saw a very sexually explicit chat conversation with some girl. H asked for her e-mail, said he would be talking to her soon and even "suggested" jokingly that they might meet. I take this very seriously after what has happened - it is no joke to me. He has made no effort to contact the counselor. He was supposed to take my appt. today...he did get called in to work (he is a pilot - he flys whenever he is called), but nothing was even said about the counseling appt. or rescheduling it. <P>I have had enough. He has chosen to continue to look outside our marriage. He has chosen to betray any love and trust I had left. He says that he wants to be married to me and that he loves me, but his actions show me the exact opposite. Nothing has changed. He wants everything to be "the same" again. I'm sorry, nothing will ever be the same. <P>I wrote him a letter and left it for him this morning. I cannot continue in a marriage like this. I've learned lessons that I wish I would have never had to experience. <P>Please keep us in your prayers. It is not going to be a pleasant day

Andi, I am sorry to hear that your H is looking outside the marriage. Are you saying that he still having an affair w/ someone? Is it fact or are you thinking this is happening? I went back and reread some of your posts to me and to others and it sounded like you and your H were trying to make things work out. I hope that he has not ruined everything for your sake. Is he getting anxious because he know the OC is coming soon and is striking back w/ so- called jokes? When you said that he wants everything to be the " same again" what does that mean? My counselor told me that men really just want to put things aside and get back to "normal" I have a hard time w/ that too. When do you expect to see your H again? H needs to get to counseling ASAP! My H is going and it seems to help most of the time, even though he thinks that everyone is ganging up on him, which we are since he caused it. There are things too the counselor says I need to do as well. He told me to trust him if I want to and if he does something that make me question or if just does something dead wrong then I need to leave and not return until he changes.<P>Andi make sure that everything is what it is before leaving. I would hate for you to be seeing something that is not there. I know that you are bright and smart but you've been hurt and you might make your self think untrue things. I don't mean to make you seem like you don't know anything. Just be sure. I will pray for you and your family.<BR>God Bless!

Andi,<P>Well I have been talking to you for months now, and I know how you have struggled with your h. I don't want you to keep being hurt. I would not put up with my h talking on the internet whatsoever. If he isn't going to stop his past behavior than there isn't much you can do. Think out your options, I know you have the girls to think about also. Like I have mentioned before, you still have the birth to look forward to, and it will probably be even worse after the baby is here. Take into account everything that is going on and look at what you can do. You are always in my prayers. I feel like I have been traveling this road with you for awhile, take care, I am worried about you. Keep in touch.<P>babstr.