I spoke with my lawyer this past week and it appears that in my state I can go ahead & file for CS for my two children, even without us being divorced. My H is in complete agreement & will provide whatever data is needed to file the paperwork. Then, if this OC does happen to be his (I still have hope that it was one of the other men in the OW life), her support will come second to mine & will be calculated on the income H has AFTER he pays me. All this & he and I can still be married. <P>I have to act fast & get this done before OW can file for CS. She is due in July & has already made comments that she hopes my H stays with me since it means more support money for her. There is no one who could tell me she didn't have an agenda when she slept with my H. <P>Sad part is, my state (TN) repealed law on alienation of affection. That would have allowed me to SUE HER for damages. I am really peeved at that. As soon as I have my life in order I am going to lobby the legislature on a bunch of these issues. <P>For all of you out there waiting for OC to be born, I advise that you consult a lawyer asap. It could help out your situation. <P>Carolyn <BR>

takingcare,<P>That's great news! I'm glad that you have found this alternative avenue so you two can continue as a married couple yet save your financial situation from the clutches of the OW. Too bad you can't sue her, but at least you've protected yourself and family.

<BR>TC,<P>Hey, that's really good news. I didn't realize that people could file for CS when they are still married. Obviously, do this QUICKLY! Its stupid, but you know the reality: The first CS suit "wins." <P>Bystander

takingcare,<BR>That's great news! I would definitely move forward with it as quickly as possible. I hope that you are lucky enough to find out it is not your H's child (something we all hope for!) The XOW sounds like a real piece of work.<P>Audrey

Wow - I'm from TN too - I had no idea - I did see a lawyer and he stated that if I divorced my H that our D would get the 1st CS and the OC the 2nd - but he didn't even mention to me that I could "go ahead" and get it now! Wow - that's something to think about doing for the whole family's protection (wow) Thanks for the advice.<P>------------------<BR>

Does anyone know if this applies to other states as well? I'm out of country so I can't just ask a lawyer in our homestate...

My first advise is try looking up your state law on internet. Mine was out there. All we had to do was be "separated", which is very loose terminology in TN. I had filed divorce papers when I first found out about affair, but all that is on hold. Separation in TN does not mean living in two different households. We are still under one roof. So read all you can. Perhaps where you are at will allow you to SUE the OW. Hey... if that is the case let me know & I'm moving there! <P>Carolyn

Congrats on your news, My papers are being filed this week, both for the CS and CC (full) and my situation is very similar, only the OC is already here, but I dont think the OW is filing for CS because my H is living with her and she is receiving welfare, food stamps and Wic off of my hard earned tax dollars, but that's ok, because my attorney has contacted Social Services and all of that is about to stop. I have filed my alienation of affection case and my attorney says I will win..the OW got pregnant deliberately...she is a vulcher. She has 2 other illegitimate children by 2 other married men. So good luck in your future endeavors, I just hope my news is as good.<BR>Missy<P>------------------<BR>

Wow takin care that is great! I did not know that! I have a question for you guys out there actually, two:<BR>1.) Can you request for CS after the OW claimed CS if my child was born first? with what you are doing takin care?<BR>&<BR>2.) Has anybody tried to sue the OW and it what states does that law of alienation works or when can I found out, because if I could sue her BELIEVE me I would! <BR> I am paying for CS 17% plus back pay of my H income and it is killing us! I am working full time and the bills are still overwhelming. So if anybody has any new ideas please! <P>

Fambis, in my state (TN) it is the first person to the court with the support papers who gets first cut of the pie (not which child is oldest). I think it should be based on which child is legitimate, since many of these OC are actually older than the legitimate children.<P>As for alienation of affection, in TN there was a law, but it was struck from the books about 10 yrs ago. Boy am I peeved! Check with your state. Aloneandsad said she has a suit filed. I think I am going to move to her state! Like I said in a different post, this OW could hit my car & I can sue, but I have no recourse when she does this. What a legal crock of $%#@. <P>Carolyn

Dear takin care:<BR>Thank you for the information I will check with her state I guess since I live in a different state but I will check Thank you.<P>Fambis

I spoke to a lawyer regarding CS for us and he said that filling for CS while still living together is...get this...COMMITTING a FRAUD AGAINST the ILLEGITIMATE CHILD! Have you ever heard such a crock of s#%T? Everything is geared to protect the OW and OC and nothing toward the wife and legitimate children. I'm two steps away from turning in my citizenship. <P>If you do take this step, tread lightly.<BR>Polly