I have been reading some of the posts and i'm so glad to find this place. I was posting on another web site but i can't find it any more. any way i just need the support you guys are giving.<BR>In March I found out my H had had a 2 minute fling with my best friend from high school.<BR>I only found out because I got the paternity papers. Well my H did the tests and sure enough it's his. We have been negotiating with the Prosecuting Attorney on a settlement. I am not happy at all with the amount they want, but apparently we have no choice. We have 2 children of our own. <BR>In our state they take the number of kids being supported by the father and plug it into a schedule and poof there is your CS payment. Plus back support from the childs birth. They don't even look at the fact that she makes $200 a month less than we do and after we start paying her CS which is set at $191 she will be bringing in more than we are. She is only supporting herself and the OC. My H supports me and 2 children.<BR>ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! sorry that really makes me angry. She is not paying any $ for daycare either, her mom is caring for the child.<BR>I am very fortunate that my mother works for the state CS division and can answer most of my ?'s. The irony in that is that this will actually be her case once it becomes a judgement.<BR>I saw a lot of good advice about hiding income, however if you live in a community property state as we do, any income or money in your name can be held against you. We put all our savings in our childrens names so it doesn't count against us. One more thing. Once the court enters a judgement for back support they can and will take any tax refunds you get until the money is paid back.<P>Just a bit of info for anyone interested.<BR>I am so sorry you need any of this advice.<BR>thank you for being here, you are all in my prayers.<BR>

I'm so sorry you are going through this horror. It is incredible to me how the courts completely ignore and refuse to acknowledge the spouse and children of the WS.<P>Beleive me, I know how you feel. We were ordered to pay $1081 per month when my husband makes less that $3,000 per month. the system is evil and corrupt. We are forced to divorce to protect what I have worked so hard for these past 20 years so the OW can't waltz in after spending three weekend swith my spouse and take it all from me. It is a true travesty of justice, ethics, morals and logic.<P>God bless<P>Catnip =^^=

I hear you, like Catnip, I am up the creek also. We are being ordered to pay $600 a month for the OC. This is the second OC for this OW. The courts here don't even take into consideration my child, or our marriage. And because the OC is four months older than my daughter her priorities are first. By the way, the "affair" was also a 10 minute drunken stupor, where the OW approached my husband who was out of it. No relationship, nothing, just two years later her deciding she wants child support. I hate this system. I can't do what Catnip is doing because I quit my job to stay home with our daughter. And like I mentioned because that OC is older, than my daughter and myself would get what is left AFTER her cut. <P>I am so sorry that you are in this situation. It doesn't help that this was a friend of yours also. I am curious since your mom works for child support what her perspective is on it now that you are living it? I hope that you are able to find some comfort coming here. It does help especially when it comes to venting. I hope to see more posts from you. Your in my prayers.<P>babstr.

1fool,<BR>I'm always saddened to find that there are so many of us in this painful situation. But I'm glad that you found this forum. It is a wonderful source of support from others who can truly empathize. We look forward to hearing more from you.<P>Take care,<BR>Audrey

Welcome, although you aren't the fool, your H is . What is his take on all of this, now that everything has hit the proverbial fan? Does he have a relationship with OC? Your friend was some friend. Even after everything, I still find it difficult to comprehend how women behave towards each other in their desparate attempts to snag a man. <P>Please continue to post here. Welcome again.

My H has no contact with the OC and we have no plans to do otherwise. When we first got the settlement proposal we talked about fighting for custody, but we decided that would just hurt the innocent people in this situation. The OW said she was willing to give up custody, but i think she believes that we wouldn't be able to get custody. She doesn't realize that if we had any custody she would have to pay CS. I guess the only reason we would have fought for custody would have been to hurt her. He takes all my anger in stride and is in personal Christian counseling. We also started in marriage counseling a few weeks ago.<BR>Wow I guess i have nothing to complain about in the CS department. Our state has no laws about which child came first, it only takes into account how many children the father is financially responsible for.<BR>Yes, it is very sickening how some women treat other women while trying to get a man.<P>