Thanks everyone for your repies awhile back.<BR>The more I read on the forum, the more discouraged I get in the human race. Why do men (I know women do this too) want to destroy their own families? Can't they see what affairs do to their own children? Can anyone be trusted anymore? Sorry to dump on you all, but H really upsets me with his behavior and it seems to be so easy for him to do this. I mean, he seems to have no conscience!<P> Downhearted

I agree downhearted. I have also been very unhappy in my marriage. I became someone I didn't want to be with my H. Angry, hurt, bitter...on and on. But under all that I still love him terribly. And hoped some day it'd finally work out for us. Although I thought many times about moving on and being with someone else. I'd never actually do it. I have too much respect for him, my D and my family. How can so many WS be so weak? I know it's not only a physical thing but a pshycological thing. Can it truly be compared to an addiction? Not to mention the OP. How can these people wake up in the morning and look at themselves in the face and be able to make it through the day. The turmoil they cause and they don't even blink an eye? And if they do why don't they have the strength to put a stop to it? I'll never know. But try not to be angry. As Carolyn says "it poison's your soul". It did mine. Maybe that's why I lost my soulmate. I let it in and kill the person I was. But I'm back...and healing more every day. Stay strong. People aren't all bad and I don't believe they intend to do so much harm. They're just weak. Take Care. LSM<P>------------------<BR>Lost Soulmate

Don't be so angry. It happens and yes it destroys many families but it does not happen to everybody. Women also do the same mistakes , you just don't see it because you just see the other side. Our cases I believe they are unique and unfortunatelly the outcome was more than normal. About the OW yes I believe that these OW have no scrupules, used the OC to try to manipulate, but I believe that if these women knew that they would have gotten nothing out of this OC non of these OC would have been born. They knew it was a free ticket to free money, they knew the system or knew somebody who knew the system. They are also so dumb that they think they are going to teach our H a lesson because they chose us and our Children over them. But I also know very happy couples and I know that this is not so common, you just think that way but it does not happen to everyone. <BR>Be positive and try to think of all the wonderful things that you do have.<p>[This message has been edited by Fambis (edited July 05, 2000).]

It is hard to believe that someone you love and trust would betray you. I though the same way. I put my H high up on that pedistal, which I should not have done. I put him before GOD.<P>My H is a man, a human man and since he is human he will sin, we all will sin. But the joy comes when we are willing to forgive. I showed my H that I loved him, eventhought he messed up, that I was and am willing to forgive him. It's hard, but I now put GOD on the pedal, him next, then children.<P>Take are and love yourself first. ITS<P>