Every since the day that I found out that my H had an affair that produced a [child(?)] I've not been able to get away and sort my feelings out about anything. Last week I decided to take me and my children away for a week to think. While I was gone I discovered that I needed to give my marriage another chance at being successful. I missed my H dearly and he missed me and of course my children. He never thought that I would leave him because he knew how much I loved him. I surprised him and believe it or not things got better when I got back. I think that I needed to shock him a little. I decided to come and make the marriage work provided that he wanted to as well which he repeatedly told me he did. So far it's been only a week and things are a whole lot better. I am still going to keep on my toes about him, but I think he realizes now I will leave. <BR>Have any of you ever done that before? I think that's what I needed to do so I wouldn't go crazy. Well, thank you for your support and I hope that everyone here including myself will have better lives w/or w/out the cheating spouse.<P>Stefanie

i have never actually left, but one time when we were having a lot of problems and just couldn't seem to work things out, i sat him down and told him that i was going to leave. i had wrote out all the bills, etc and told him i had applied for a second job. that i only needed him to help me with the rent until the lease was up. that i had dropped my classes at school. i told him that i felt i was no longer making him happy and that if he wanted to be alone, i would let him go without any fight.<P>well, we talked that night like we never had. he promised to change the things i had problems with and i did too. and it worked. i even marked it on my calendar because i didn't actually believe he would change some of the things he had said he would. but days, then weeks and months and now about 2 years have gone by and things are better. i had made up the job and school stuff, but it made him realize i had really contemplated leaving and he didn't want to lose us. <P>and of course i was thanking god he didn't just take me up on the offer and help me pack. <P>take care and glad you are here with us!!<P><P>------------------<BR>happy_girl