You seem to have quit a bit of experience, so I am directing this question to you, and of course, if anyone else has any suggestions. I am on my second marriage. My husband was divorced 6 years and has many single female/male friends and married friends. We have been married almost 7 months now. I would like your opinion on several questions. Where do you draw the line when single females call "us" to go out for a drink? Where do you draw the line e-mailing single females? And where do you draw the line as far as appropriate conversation with single females? I'm having an issue with this and I'm not sure if I am out of line. Most of his single female friends call for both of us to go out, which I just don't really care to go to bars anymore. And some of his male friends call to go to bars as well. My husband is very sociable and I trust him implictly, but sometimes in this time and age, I don't understand what is appropriate and what is not. What is your opinion????

These are hard questions, and my opinions are shaped by my experiences. I think, in general, that single friends inviting both of you is probably OK. However, you are obviously uncomfortable with something, or you would not be here asking this question. I have learned by painful experience that ignoring those little feelings of discomfort is not a good idea. I think you should let your husband know how you feel. If possible, you should figure out why you are uncomfortable and talk to your H about that, too.

I think reading through Fall in Love, Stay in Love w/ your husband, and taking the questionaires, will probably shed some light on this for you. If your H is not willing, see if he will just take the questionaires. You read the book yourself.

Thank you for your reply. What a good suggestion on reading the book. I think the main reason I am having an issue is because I came from an emotionally abusive relationship of 16 years and my X was very controlling, verbally abusive and constantly accused me of having affairs, doing things behind his back and basically did not trust me. During those 16 years, I mentally tried to block it out and tried my best to stay in the marriage for our 2 girls. If I were to talk to another male at a softball game or where ever, I would immediately be questioned as soon as we left. He would ask, "What did you talk about?", "Why was he talking to you?", etc.

I guess because of my "previous" issues, in a sick sort of way, I don't feel confortable with my husband saying, "Hi, sweetie" or other nice compliments to women. It is embarassing to me because I know that is his personality and he is just a sweet person. I am still getting used to someone actually trusting me and not questioning every move I make.

However, now that we have had some issues with his 16 yr old son, my husband is learning he needs to be home more and at work/social events less. His son told him he was being left alone too much and he wanted more family time. My husband has changed and has seriously cut back the social time from work.

I just did not understand where I should draw the line without him thinking I did not trust him. I have talked to him about this and he totally understands. Thanks for helping me understand better.