My close friend is suffering with a cheating husband, not affairs, one night stands, niteclubbig etc. I'm white, they're black.they saw a counselor but there seems to be an unspoken underlying issue that the counselor or I can't relate because this is "part of their culture" I see it as the husband's excuse and wife's self preservation/defense. She is miserable. Any advice?

I realise that in some cultures (and families!) "going out" is more acceptable than others. What matters though is that it is NOT acceptable to the W, and so it cannot be good for the marriage.

A good counselor of any color should be able to help them communicate and decide what will be considered acceptable in their marriage. The issue may be that the H is not willing to change to avoid hurting his W (so, anyone who agrees with the wife that his behavior isn't acceptable MUST be biased <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). Or, it may be that the counselor comes across "wrong" to him (most marriage counselors don't condone infidelity, and that is hard for most betrayers to accept).

A black counselor might have a better shot of getting the message across, not because of their background, but bcs he might feel less accepting of someone with a similar background telling him he's not been fair to his wife).