hi everybody,<P>hope you all had a good weekend. we did. we actually made it thru the whole weekend with out talking about the OW/OC. not that i didn't constantly think about it. it has become an obsession of mine, i just can't get it out of my head. no matter what i do.<P>my husband went to mass with me today. lately he hasn't wanted to, i think because of the guilt. but today, i was getting ready to go alone, like i usually do, and he asked me if i wanted to go to the later mass and we could go to breakfast. so we did. i was so happy. last week i prayed that he would start coming with me. i love going, but would much rather he go with me. <P>we are waiting now. we put the response in to the courts and now we wait for the court to contact us regarding the DNA testing. we denied paternity in the response so now we wait. our lawyer said it could be a week and it could be 3 months, you never know with the state. she has been acting weird and we are wondering if she will go thru with it. but we just want to get it over with. so we know how to plan our life. i hate her having the control. i hate her. my h has been avoiding the phone if it is not someone we know on the caller id, just in case it is her. he doesn't want to talk to her. me either. although i am sure i could find something to say to her...<P>well, missed you all this weekend. hope it is because you have better things to do...<P>take care and hope to see you all this week.<P><P>------------------<BR>happy_girl

I am glad that your weekend went well. Be prepared to wait on the DNA testing. They told me that it would be 4-6 weeks to get the results, it took over 10 weeks. I about went crazy. But you will be fine. The OW is really starting to act suspicious. I think some of these women pick a man and think that is all they will have to do. Like you are not going to question her. You sound great keep your spirits up.<P>babstr.

<BR>babstr wrote:<P>[QUOTE}I think some of these women pick a man and think that is all they will have to do.[/QUOTE]<P>I have to agree with this. A quick look at the upside/downside explains why, though. An OW who has slept with several men and isn't sure of paternity herself can name the married man with the least risk, IMO.<P>Why? Betrayed wives who fear the devastating financial impact of an OC are usually happy to just "get on with their lives" once a H's paternity test comes back negative.<P>Because of this, these OWs get a "free shot" to pin paternity with practically no risk. Its only when betrayed wives start counterfiling with suits for attempted fraud, mental cruelty, and so on will this kind of behavior end. <P>Bystander

thanks for the replies!! how i am thankful for this board... i learn something new everyday. it just gets frustrating. i really look forward to getting this over with. the DNA test, the court, and then maybe i will breathe normally again. i am sick of feeling so sad. i am happy a lot, but then i get so depressed. and i cry a lot. it sucks sometimes. especially to get thru the day and have no one to talk to. and sometimes, with my friend at work that knows about the affair, but i don't think i could tell her about the OC. i will forget she doesn't know and want to tell her something, and i can't. very hard. but i know that one day i will look back at this and though i know i won't laugh, it will seem a distant memory.<P>thanks for the support. <P>------------------<BR>happy_girl

I have made a decision to fly to Texas where the OW conceived and file an alienation of affection suit against her. This will be done when our faux divorce is final and that should be in about 60 days.<P>As an extremely proactive betrayed spouse, my goal in life is to become the poster girl of every OW's worst nightmare.<P>Perhaps I will file the lawsuit on October 24th, as it will be the two year anniversary of when they met.<P>Catnip =^^=