hi DD,<P>just saw your post, and wanted to say welcome back, been wondering how you are doing. fill us in...<P><P>------------------<BR>happy_girl

What would I do without you guys(?) Things are crappy - really crappy - I sat over the weekend thinking (my H was in Vegas) I think "have I done everything I can do to save my marriage" and I thought - well I didn't a good Plan A because - I love busted all the time. Then I am starting to regret going into Plan B - then I talked to OW on Monday and she said my H called her several times from Vegas - and on the way home he called her and that they are still intimate and he still promises her a future and that he loves her and wants her - and for her to be patient and she doesn't understand why he won't leave me. She says "after 3 years, do you really think he's going to give me up?" and I said "well after 3 years and many chances do you think he's going anywhere(?)" I told her we are both enabling him to keep playing games - that she and I were really on the same side - just wanting to know the truth - I can't talke to him - he just denies, denies, denies. He acts like I'm some sort of crazy person when I say - either she leaves or I leave! "We can't give up on 14 years of "us"" He thinks that I'm giving up - because there can't be 3 people in a marriage.<P>Ugh - I'm hating him so much with each passing day and today when he came by my office and I met him outside and got in the truck to see our D for a minute - guess who calls(?) You guessed it! OW called him and he looked like he had been struck by lightening! He didn't really say much and it's funny - he told her he was talking to me - and he asked her what she needed and she said "nothing" so they ended the call - they are just so familiar with each other - and it's such a routine of him doing x, y, z for her and q, r, s for me - it's disgusting. I feel in my soul that he wants me - but is to "chicken S(^&$" to 'hurt' her since she has his child, etc. etc. So in the meantime he tries to live 2 lives and hope that it will just "go away".<P>I was so horribly angry today - and I asked him to call her back and tell her how it was going to be and mean it this time - and he says "I'm not gonna call and get her upset and stuff at work!" (let's all bow down the prima dona) Can you tell how bitter I am - well I am - I told him he has had 3 years to get rid of the tramp and he will not have another minute of my time to see her on. So I told him today was the day! I told him of Mynabird's advice re: a letter to OW given to her via telephone by me and H taking turns so that she would see that we are united. He seemed acceptable to that idea - however - he is so manipulative that he could easily tell her ahead of time "Me and my W are going to call you and read this letter thing -but just ignore it - it doesn't mean anything - it's just to get her off my back" Ugh - I'm in the pits today.<P>------------------<BR>

hey DD, glad you are back, but sorry you are having such a rough time. i don't know what to say. i know in my heart i would have a hard time not believing my H because i love him and don't want to lose him. but you need to put plan B into action and make him realize what he might lose. right now he has his cake and is eating it too. unless it is true that the OW is lying which is possible. but anyway, either way, he will have to see that you mean business. you are not gonna share him with the OW. be strong. you are in my prayers and i know you can do it. take care.<BR><P>------------------<BR>happy_girl