Well my H is in the process of an interview today that could mean a major move. Although we have been waiting for a break it carries several things that I didn't want. <P>When all of this happened I said that I didn't want to have to move farther away from my family, this job does that. I am scared to leave my home, friends, and life to move somewhere that I can't stand, Chicago. We have a nice home, we will never be able to afford what we have. Basically this move will only allow us to be able to pay the child support, nothing for us. But of course we have to do it, or we will not be able to live.<P>I am scared to move somewhere with someone who I don't quite trust yet. Who I am still riding the rollercoaster with emotionally. It angers me that I have to leave my hometown which I love, and in turn once again pay for this mistake. <P>Granted I don't want to have to be so close to the OW. I don't want my H to work with her either. I guess I can't have it both ways. But I feel myself getting more depressed anticipating a move, and the losses of leaving here. I am only 3 hours from my family, so I can go for visits all the time. This move puts me over 9 hours away. So much for weekend visits, and the difficulty of traveling with a toddler. <P>I just wonder if this will push me over the edge. That once again my life changes for the worse, because of my H and the OW. Sorry I sound so down, but it is really starting to hurt, again.<P>babstr.

babstr,<BR>Hang in there, you have been strong for me in your posts. I know a move will be difficult for you, especially away from friends and family who are your "emotional beams", but as you said, they are only 3 hours away. It will be better for your marriage in the long run if he gets as far away from the OW as possible...and your family is only a car ride or a phone call away. Hang in there, I will be praying for you. Good Luck.<BR>aloneandsad

babstr,<P>be strong. pray that whatever is best for your family right now is what will be. try to think positive. i know it is scary to go to a new place especially when you are in a situation that is a bit scary and very stressful. maybe this is for the best. i know it will be hard, but it will also be a new place where no one knows. don't know if anyone knows, but if they do, they won't. <P>i would love to leave. i always bug my H about it. the mere thought of living in the same state as her just makes me mad. i don't want to ever run into her at the mall or something. <P>and, i would hate to have my H working with the OW. i would go crazy. <P>so, try to look at the good things. i know it will be hard to have your family so far away. but it might be a good thing. and then again, maybe it isn't meant to be and he won't get this job. pray, and i will pray for you too!!<P>take care!!<BR><P>------------------<BR>happy_girl

Babstr, I'm thinking of you. I'd be scared too. My H and I always talked about moving to AZ. I'm closer to doing so now than I ever was. But I know I'd be like you. How could I move away with someone you can't trust yet.<P>Think of it this way. It could be the best move ever. Getting away from the OW. You two may be able to start out fresh. Your family is 9 hours away but they are just a phone call away as well. And if it doesn't work out come home. Everything happens for a reason. I haven't yet figured out what the reason is for all of this pain. But someday I will. And so will you. Don't be scared. Just be cautious. You can always come home again. And your toddler won't always be a toddler. I'm praying for you. Maybe your guardian angle has arrived. Good Luck Babstr. I wish you the best. LSM

Babstr, I'm thinking of you. I'd be scared too. My H and I always talked about moving to AZ. I'm closer to doing so now than I ever was. But I know I'd be like you. How could I move away with someone you can't trust yet.<P>Think of it this way. It could be the best move ever. Getting away from the OW. You two may be able to start out fresh. Your family is 9 hours away but they are just a phone call away as well. And if it doesn't work out come home. Everything happens for a reason. I haven't yet figured out what the reason is for all of this pain. But someday I will. And so will you. Don't be scared. Just be cautious. You can always come home again. And your toddler won't always be a toddler. I'm praying for you. Maybe your guardian angle has arrived. Good Luck Babstr. I wish you the best. LSM

Babstr, honey: <P>I agree with lostsoulmate. This could be the best thing that ever happened to your marriage. Yes, you will be further from your touchstones, but there's phones, e-mail and letters and cards.<P>The important thing is that you will be together, having only each other for support at first and forced to rely on each other. This can be the catalyst you both need to truly reconnect. It could be a blessing in disguise.<P>I understand your resentment at having to do things that you wouldn't have had to do had not these horrible circumstances not happened to begin with. <P>We have all been impacted here in the most negative way because of our spouse's actions, but I have to tell you, my husband is so incredibly appreciative of my steadfast loyalty and that I am working along with him side by side to get through this, that he would walk through fire for me today.<P>Try to hold your tongue and don't 'beat' him verbally and try not to whine. Smile at him, hug him, tell him you love him and that you will do whatever is necessary for the two of you to survive this. He will love you for it and appreciate your support. <P>Your kind gestures will be an example for him to take notice as the way married, committed people in love do for each other through tough times...they are the concrete building blocks of a good marriage.<P>I truly know how you feel and the resentment is real and you are entitled. Just keep bringing it here and try not to dump it on spouse. He will come to realize what an outstanding woman he has and how lucky he is.<P>Good luck, Babstr...think of it as a new adventure and a new opportunity for you and spouse. It might be fun. It's all attitude. <P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

Dear babstr:<BR>I want to tell you that I did that. We moved to another state when I wasn't sure if he was worth trusting...but the whole idea of knowing that he was working with OW and living in the same state(at this time we did not know about the OC) wasn't going to help us, I also left my family they live in a different country, I could have gone back and lived there comfortably belive me better thatn here! , but I decided to take a chance and try it again, and babstr belive me it is the best thing I could have ever done! It has been almost 3.5 years since we moved and we are doing great, and even though it was tough at first because this state was more expensive, we had to live in a tiny tiny apartment at first and then after 2 years we were finally able to afford a little house...but we are happy, yes I suffer every day about the OC and OW , but they are FAR FAR FAR FAR away and they willnot bother us, nor I am afraid of my H at work...so babstr if this happens it is best thing believe me!, and if it doesn't work you can always come back.