Forteen years ago my wife cheated on me. I found out two years ago by a chance slip of a tounge.A series of mixed and conflicting stories arouse.She said she doesn't know why she did it.She had the affair with our next door neighbor and his wife.I contacted him to verify the story
surprise it did't.
I then went to a councelor to get some advise to held deal with the damage.I felt I was entitled to know exactly what happened and find the reasons why so we don't reapeat past actions that would ruin or marriage beyond repair.My head screamed RUN but my HEART screamed no.I have to be honest I still love her.The councelor basically said it didn't matter what happened in the past that we had to go on from here.I feel that I wasn't getting the truth about the past and for me that is where I needed to start.I have asked my wife to take a voice analyst to give closure to past events.She agreed.Do you agree the truth is the only place to start?This could be a great gamble for her or a sure bet but she is willing to invest I'm not so sure.Marriage always has been an Individual choice,You only own Yourself.

What a horrible counselor you have. I am a college professor and I have seen some wonderful and some absolutely terrible counselors in my field. Your attitude is right on the mark. You must have all of the truth to recover and understand what was going through the mind of your wife at this time to make sure it does not happen again. It is very sad that she has lied to you for fourteen years but I think it is very positive for her to undertake a voice analyzer test or a polygraph test to ease your mind. My guess is that everything she has told you is probably the truth. I always suggest people do this and most of the time the WW spouse will say NO because they have not been telling the truth.
In short what you are doing makes sense and it is very good that your wife is willing to help ease the pain for you. I would immediately get rid of the counselor you have. I wish you luck.

The truth will set you free! Once everything is out in the open you will be able to deal with it on your terms, and make sure it can't happen again. The secrets and unknowning do not allow you to do that.