OK, Guys. This has gone from the sublime to the ridiculous.<P>Remember when spouse and I had to spend five days in NY last February going through hours of testimony? Remember when I met Bystander in NY for a couple days of trying to present testimony to no avail? Remember the phony OFP the OW served on me saying I had done and said things I had not done or said?<P>Well, I was instructed by our attorney to accept the OFP for a year with no admittion of guilt, which didn't sit right with me becasue i hadn't done any of the things she said I did. I simply wrote her a letter she didn't like saying that if she were truly selfLESS she would have given the child up for adoption.<P>The child support decision came in June. In order to appeal, we had to write our answers to the 'findings' and submit them to the court and to OW via certified mail. In compliance with those instructions, I did as I was told. Because it was I who had sent them, she promptly went to the police station and to family court and had a VIOLATION of the OFP served upon me.<P>Now I am to appear in court on Thursday, 8-10, in NY. We have spent all our money on legal fees and travel and have no means to travel to NY to go before the Judge on her phony violation of the phony OFP.<P>Say a prayer that I won't do something crazy.<P>Catnip =^^=

Catnip,<BR> That is patently ridiculous!!! I hope that when it is thrown out of court, you can then file a malicious prosecution suit against her.<P> Our son was once accused of assault by a guy who simply got mad at him because our son fired him. Our son was found not guilty, but the guy went on to file a civil suit, accusing our son of not only beating him up but beating his truck up. What we did was to have our attorney file a malicious prosecution suit against him. We've never heard any more from the guy. How did this work? Well, the suit he filed was on a contingency basis...meaning that he didn't have to pay his lawyer anything unless he won his suit. When we filed our suit, the game changed; that meant that he would have to pay a lawyer to defend him. His whole goal was to get money out of us through our son. As it was, it did cost us $2500.

Catnip,<BR> I can't believe this crap!!! How in the world could they seriously do this to you? You were only doing what you were told to do. Legal papers are not a violation of an order of protection. I hope you get her good, after this is all over with, with a nice fat lawsuit. That is nothing short of harrasment. I feel for you Catnip. I wish you luck. I still can't believe it is happening like that.

Catnip,<BR> Sorry to hear yet more garbage is being set at your door. I have been reading hear for a few months. So many of you have helped me and dont even know it. Catnip it is amazing sometimes the levels these OW's wil stoop to for revenge b/c things didnt go their way. Or out of plain spitefullness. Sorry you are having more heaped on. 2Hurt

Beyond reality. Hopefully your lawyer can just go & represent you & all will be dropped. And the judge should run through her for abuse of the system. Maybe you will get lucky & get one who sees through this sham. <P>Keep breathing. Slowly. There will be justice one day, some day. Carolyn

UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I too am sorry that you have to deal with this bulls*^t. But by the grace of God what goes around comes around and she will have to deal with all that she has done. God Bless you and I just wanted to thank you because your posts have helped me (and I am sure others) more than you will ever know! Hang in there Catnip!

Unbelievable!!!!!!! Geeze Catnip, this one just takes the cake, huh?<P> Is there any way you can contact the court in NY, and explain to the registrar or court secretary what your situation is? Ask if there are any alternatives to going to NY? Perhaps even do this thru the snail mail? Possibly leave a message for the judge assigned to this case...stating that you live very far away... it is just not possible for you to come to NY to answer the "OFP violation"?<P> I think you should try that, because you don't have many other options, that I can see.<P> What a conniving wench she is! *I'm* angry for you!<P> Good luck,<BR> Mynabird

Catnip I can't believe you are having to endure this. I hope your H sees yet again what a mistake this was. Not to rub his nose in it but for him to see and to teach all that he can NEVER to do something so stupid as to have an affair.<P>I will keep you in my prayers. I will be thinking of you. Good luck Catnip. Let us know how it goes. LSM

Strength to you today and always catnip. May the insanity wash over you like the water over a duck's back...

Catnip,<P>I am so sorry. I can't believe the turmoil that you are going through. I truly think about and believe that society would be better off without these people. This is not who society wants to promote, and yet the court system backs them up. I find it interesting that no feels including the court system that you have every right to contact her. Everyone I know feels that these women are asking for it. It is amazing how conniving these women can be. I do have to say that most men who are involved with married women do not torture the families. Only the women do. I truly hope that your lawyer will have a little heart and help you out without demanding payment, I know things are tight. You are in my prayers. <P>babstr.

catnip,<P>i am so sorry you are having to go thru this. you really do have about the worst OW i have seen. she is totally set on making your life miserable. but leelee put it well, what goes around comes around. and just be glad you don't have to be her, it must be really miserable to be in her body/mind. i pray that you can get thru this situation. and i think you should try to call the courts too. this is absolutely ludicrous. take care catnip.<P>happy_girl

Thank you one and all for your rousing support! I feel like Rocky facing the last round with Apollo Creed.<P>Look, I must tell you that i really am not all that bothered about what the OW has or is doing. It's a bad joke, an act of retaliation, an act of desperation and revenge that is just an annoyance of one more BS thing I have to deal with...it's kind of like (sigh) add it to the list, take a number, there'll be a three minute wait, etc.<P>Our attorney won't lift a finger to help us now as we owe him in excess of $9,000 for a lot of nothing, but some standing around time at court waiting for our occasionally 15 mintues in chambers.<P>I was instructed by another attorney here to submit to the courts, via fax, an affidivit stating the I cannot aford to appar in NY, that i was in compliance with the laws of the State of NY in mailing to OW and Judge copies of our appeal to the AJudge's decsion via certified mail and that harassing me with this silly 'violation' is in essence a violation of my peace of mind and my rights and that i am the one being harrassed.<P>After all, Ladies, as in your situations, I DID NOT INTRUDE MYSELF INTO HER LIFE, SHE INTRUDED HERSELF INTO MINE. <P>Everything that she is complaining about was borne out of her intrusion into my marriage, my life, my future...forever. Had she only walked away after my first phone call to her just three days after her first weekend with my husband, I would not be on this particular site in this forum.<P>Again, thanks guys. We should all form a posse and ferret out OW's everywhere and bring them to their just desserts/justice. Obviously, the OW that is the bane of my existance has already found her desserts, and looks like she enjoys several a day...meow.<P>catnip =^^=

<BR>Catnip,<P>Daggone it, I wish you would have given me more lead time. I probably could have met you and your H in NY.<P>Bystander

Dear Catnip:<BR>I wish you the best of luck! I think you should also try to find out if you can do it like you said on the phone on a document on something! Go in the Internet under the Court of NY and find out if you can do something else appeal via internet something! Do not worry it will be fine, I will be praying for you ! you do not deserve this and things will get better!<BR>fambis<BR>

Bystander, dear friend: You misunderstand. I haven't been to NY since I was with you and then again with spouse back in February...we're talking Texas now, Pardner...you and spouse (C) will want to accompany me and spouse (D) for the fireworks.<P>BTW, where have you been??? My mailbox is EMPTY...I knew you were busy with that other thing and I've been biding my time...lot's happening.<P>Catnip =^^= <p>[This message has been edited by catnip (edited August 09, 2000).]

<BR>Catnip,<P>Alas, I have been remiss in emailing. Mea culpa. You are, of course, aware of the legal time sink in which I'm embroiled!<P>Bystander