Yep. Went on the Internet and did a search of Dallas attorneys and found me a lawyer willing to help me sue the OW for alienation of affection. <BR>I spoke with him for an hour and a half and after my story, he let out a long, slow whistle and said, "Ma'am, I think you've got quite a case." I said, "Yippie-I Ky-A" (not really, but dang close)<P>The cowboy lawyer went on to tell me that if we can't do the AOA we can sue her for Personal Injury...mine. I love it. <BR>He went on to say that since I kept impeccable records, including my long distance details from that time proving I called her three days after the first weekend, and I have documented everything, we can drag her to Texas from NY and sue her enormous,fat...nevermind. Sorry.<P>I live in a liberal state in the upper midwest that has thrown out their "just" laws and replaced them with fluffy light laws in order to attract the criminal element just to keep thing interesting around here, I guess. OW is pushing middle age, but still lives with Mommy and Daddy in NY. Since both states are extremely liberal and all the laws protecting you and me from predators have been abolished, we needed a third state with it's laws intact in order to sue for AOA, or Personal Injury.<P>OW insisted spouse join her at her sister's in Dallas for Thanksgiving 1998, where she conceived OC. And because this happened in Texas, we can bring the lawsuit there.<P>And that is why OW is being sued for AOA and/or personal injury in Texas.<P>It's a beautiful thing.<P>Catnip =^^=<P>

You go, Catnip!!!!<BR> You rule!!!!!!! I also had thoughts of suing OW, but have been told in my state, I am out of luck. Very tough to win. Hell, the woman is pregnant with a child she says is his, what more proof do I need that she was screwing with my life and marriage!!!! Win for all us frustrated W's, and boy do I wish your cowboy lawyer, had a brother lawyer here in MO who would help me. I don't care to win money, I just want everyone to know what a slut this woman is, that she messed with a married man, and had the gall to try and hold him with a baby he didn't want. Win for us all. YEEEHaw!!!

You go Girl!!!!! Wow - what an ironic twist of fate! You know that was the first thing I wanted to do - sue for that AOA. These "tramps" need to see that you can't mess with people's lives and not suffer any consequences. Of course, in TN it has been taken off the books - oh how I wish . . . but I am SO VERY VERY HAPPY FOR YOU! Man - please keep us posted on this - See - she is sitting there (OW) high and mighty just hoping that your and David's $$$ problems will make you 2 crumble. (look how desperate they are to get a man). You just showed her girl! Wow - this has made my day!<P>------------------<BR>

Catnip-<BR>First let me preface this by saying <BR>1- I am NOT a lawyer<BR>2- I am an OW.<BR>I just want to be upfront with you about this and I want to speak to you on an "honest" level..<BR>So, here it goes...<BR>I think what this OW is doing to you and your husband in court is ridiculous beyond belief.<BR>If you are in Texas there is NO WAY you should be dragged back and forth to NY to go to court. You might be able to handle this via proxy or something like that.Get a lwyer from NY to handle it, talk to him via phone and LET HIM/HER do your bidding.<BR>Another option you may have is this...<BR>Considering you are bringing a lawsuit against her in Texas (Alienation of Affection), you might be able to "roll" all of the pending court cases on one docket. Make her come to you guys instead.<BR>Like I said I am NOT a lawyer and I am SURE you don't want to hear from an OW. But, I personally don't feel that cases like the OW's should be clogging up an already bogged down legal system. BTW, you might also like to find out about a lawsuit against her in regards to filing false papers and excessive <BR>lawsuits against you. Good luck and I do mean that....<P>

Just a postscript...<BR>If possible get this case out of NY.<BR>NY is RUTHLESS in regards to CS.<BR>For one child you are talking 18%(was just increased) of gross income the, ON TOP OF IT, they award the custodial parent a % of daycare and medical costs. It adds up tremendously.<BR>That is another reason to get it transfered to your state. An argument to use could be that considering the fathers income is being "attacked" it should be "attacked" in the fathers state.<BR>Sorry to bug you......

Catnip<BR> RIGHT ON! I said YES out loud when I read your post. I hope you get all you deserve and more. So glad to hear you found a Lawyer to take it! 2Hurt

Catnip,<P>If you can get this to happen then you will really be on the road to changing the law. I wish you all the luck, I am so happy for you. I know it will probably take a little while, but I am so happy that you got some positive news. By the way, I am curious does your family live far away? I just was wondering how you are able to do all of this and they don't know what it is for. Just wondering.<P>babstr.

Thank you all once again. It is truly gratifying to have such and incredible support team.<P>Duranie: Thanks for your suggestions and for your unusual vote of support...I am truly grateful...and confused. Are you an Ow with an OC? Or are you here trying to get through an affair?<BR>As to your questions regarding having her sued in NY, we already tried that. Those laws were quashed years ago, as in Minnesota where we live. Texas, on the other hand, still has some laws on the books that may be able to serve justice...even if it is under the form of personal injury. <BR>I am relentless and focused when I have a cause, so rest assured, I will prevail one way or the other.<P>Babstr: Spouse's family is all in another state and know NOTHING about this entire situation. Our daughter lives in another state as well (I live in the state of confusion) and would be so horrified if she knew any of this. <BR>Our sons are somewhat obtuse and self-centered and busy building careers and lives (thank God) and don't pay much attention. I have no sibs and my folks are retired down south and are sheltered from any fallout, unless this gets some unwanted attention.<P>Even if this all this revealed in the light of day, I will have my day in court with this harridan and I plan to make an example of her. I want everyone to know what she has said to me, done to me, chose to continue to do to me. <P>I would have never taken it this far if she wouldn't have retaliated as she did. It was if she was entitled to do all this damage to me and when I wrote her a letter telling her how hurt I was and how destroyed I was, instead of having compassion and letting it go to allow me to vent my pain to her, she decides to add more pain and more angst by suing me, the suing me again....she shouldn't have done that. Now, I'm upset. And people who know me know not to mistake my kindness for a weakness...they are always so surprised when I retaliate. Big, big mistake.<P>Again, thanks all...I will keep you posted as his evolves. The next step is to scare up $300 for the attorney to begin his search of the laws.<P>Off the subject, but, doesn't that cruise sound wonderful??<P>Catnip =^^=

Catnip you don't even know how happy I am for you. The tears are coming so let me just say I will keep you in my thoughts every day that the sun will shine on you forever. Keep us posted. Take Care. LSM

Catnip-<BR>A little background I am an OW w/ an OC.<BR>We HAD been involved for many years. I am desparately trying to get out of it. It is not healthy for me. I have ended it on my part but in his mind it "could never be over because of OC".I guess that probably puts me on the most hated list here. But, just because I am in that situation does not mean that I approve of what this so-called woman is doing to you.<BR>I come from the point of view that I made my own mess and it is up to me to fix it. OC was NOT planned (who in thir right mind would PLAN to have a child with a MM?!?) I don't make excuses for what I did nor do I expect anyone else to bail me out. I take care of my family ON MY OWN. MM is involved with OC on an emotional level, I handle the financial part. That is how I guess I am able to "accept" the situation better. I have everyone yelling at me to take him to court, get CS, etc. That is just not me. MM didn't ask for this (heck neither did I really), W certainly didn't ask for this, etc. It happened and I am taking care of it. With me, the relationship between the child and parent far outweighs whatever $ I would ever get. FWIW, MM sees OC on a one to one basis WITH W's knowledge. I am NOT involved at all....<BR>The reason why I offered my supprt is because I feel that this person is being completely unreasonable and is OBVIOUSLY hell bent on making your life hell. NO one deserves that.<BR>WHen there are children involved you kind of have to look past yourself and focus on them. It is obvious that this OW in your case is incapable of that. Personally, it sounds to me like she is unbalanced and probably shouldn't even have the kid in her care. But, that is another story....I honestly hope that you and your husband can get through this. I also sincerely wish you the best of luck in your legal cases. Don't let this one get to you. As I said before, you seem to have a pretty decent lawyer in Texas. Talk, plead, whatever to him. But, try like an SOB to get this case out of NY. Get her on YOUR territory. Trust me she won't like it and it might get her to back off. You have legal proceedings happening in Texas, see if you can get things rolled together in the one docket. Stall if you must. If paternity hasn't been established, forget to bring financial proof (good for a 3 month delay).<BR>PLease try to limit the contact you have with the OW though. You might be angry (and you have every right to be) but she is not playing with a full deck. She can and will intrepret everything from you to be harassment and she will continue to bog you down legally. DOn't get her that satisfaction. Good luck....<BR>I guess support from someone like me does seem unusual. I am sorry for intruding. I was just trying to help, I guess. Sorry....<P>

Catnip... where do I send check to support the cause? $300.00 for a lawyer who is willing to take this on? He deserves a medal. Seriously, I will gladly chip in on this. It would be a GREAT investment! <P>Carolyn

catnip,<P>I too could try to send a little something. that way you can get this started. I know how important is, and it would make me even feel better, that one of us is getting back. Between you and DD, I have had two good days. <P>babstr.

Catnip-<BR>I just saw your history that you posted. All I can say is wow. You are dealing with a hell of a lot. I was just thinking of something else that might be of relevance to you....<BR>One of my ex-friends just went through a long drawn out custody battle (interstate wise PA and NY). Here might be a suggestion for you.........<BR>Have you and your husband thought about suing <BR>in your home state (Minnesota I believe) for custody of OC? (You don't have to WANT custody, just petition for it, explanataion below) She would HAVE to answer in YOUR state to the petition. Then, DEMAND that OC have its own law guardian. That would bring about an investigation into the home life of OW. Anything brought up in YOUR case could be used in the case in NY to YOUR favor. My ex-friends ex used this tactic and it scared the living piss out of her. She dropped a whole bunch of the legal crap she was doing just in order to MAINTAIN the custody she probably would have been awarded anyways. Call it a scare tactic, whatever. But, when it comes to things like this you have to PROTECT YOURSELF.<BR>Once again, if I am intruding I am sorry. If you would prefer me to not "help" because of my situation, I'd understand. Just thought I would give it my best shot. Take care and good luck.....

Yep - include me in I'm willing to pitch in some dough to get the ball rolling with these stupid OW. (No offense, D) You seem to have your head on a little more than most OW. Let's lead the battle to take them on!!!! 1 at a time . . .<P>------------------<BR>

Daycare Disaster-<BR>Heck, no offense taken. I KNOW I screwed up and I EXPECT to get fried.....We are all woman after all no matter what "position" we are in...I guess maybe I am trying to make ammends in a way. Who knows. But no matter what nobody deserves to be going through what Catnip is going through. Besides that, being a mom myself, I think that the OC in Catnips situation is not in a good place with its mother. I just get a sick feeling about it. So, I hope Catnip can bring some kind of "light" (ie Child protective services or something like that) into that homelife with her (Catnips) lawsuit. I honestly do wish her the best of look. NOt all OW are completely horrid (even though the majority probably are). I personlly consider what I did horrid not who I am. Does that make sense? But, it is nice to hear that a betrayed W might actually think of me as partially human. Thanks.....<P><BR>

GO CATNIP!!!!!!!!! You keep us posted; I'm tickled pink!<P>Duranie, I have posted before that if 'our' XOW would act like a reasonable person instead of crazy, things could be different(better) for the OC, but I have to protect my family first. I try not to overly judge people like yourself (and my husband) who will admit to wrongdoing and try to make it right. Best wishes,<BR>Jenny

Duranie,<P>I too feel like that. If someone makes a mistake and learns to deal with it, I could almost forgive anything, (except when my child can get hurt). And in my case, my child is the one who is going to pay. I admire you coming here and offering some really sound advice and suggestions. It does help to hear from a OW that admits her wrong doing, and goes on with her life, so that everyone can get on with theirs. Thank you for being open minded enough to come here and share. I know I appreciate it. <P>babstr.<P>

No need to pass the hat, Ladies...my check came from the company handling my product line.<P>I am truly touched by your offers but there is no need. The attorney needed $300 just to do the search and start things going. It will be a long process and cost several times that amount but it will come in increments...not something I can't handle. But, thank you for your kind support.<P>Now to clear up a couple misconceptions...neither spouse nor I would ever sue for custody, primarily because of our age...we're a half a century old for God's sake!! The last thing I want to do is chase around some little kid 24/7. My 3 year old granddaughter comes over...I am overjoyed to see her, I hang out with her for two, maybe three hours and I can't wait for her to go home. I am nuts about her but I am exhausted.<P>Another reason we will never go for custody is that there isn't a court in the land who would give a child to my alcoholic, bipolar, suicidal, manic and reckless spouse, unless of course, he's been on meds for a considerable amount of time and have achieved some form of stability, but by that time, OC will be grown.<P>The final reason I would never go for custody is that I think the OW is a good mother, believe it or not. She may be a disgusting human being that did unspeakable things and loves to tweak me and hurt me, but her family (I met them) are all very family and 'mommy' oriented. I think she is like they are and though she takes time out from being a pretty good Mom to torment me at every opportunity, I know there is no court that would take a child away fom a Mom who is simply jealous and vindictive to the wife...I am confident that this does not spill over onto OC...besides, OC has doting grandmother and aunts and uncles and grandfather.<P>I don't want to do anything to hurt or harm her in any way, I really do not. But, I can no longer allow her to torment me. Had she never done any of these things, I would have never pursued this upcoming legal action against her. <P>She shouldn't have done all these things to me. She should have quit while she was ahead...she should have just accepted my letter in the spirit for which it was intended, a grieving wife explaining her hurt and devastation. <BR>There was no need to hurt me and complicate my life further by issuing a trumped up OFP...hadn't she already done enough? If she would have just let me have my say and just taken it and not retaliated, we wouldn't be here today. It was the LEAST she could have done. I felt she at least owed me my say.<P>In fact, I will take it another couple steps further....had she heeded my warnings and had compassion for my pleas that first week, we wouldn't be here today. If she would have used birth control, we wouldn't be here today. If she wouldn't have screwed him to begin with, talked to him on the phone, flirted with him at the party, knowing he was married, we would not be here today. <P>I know, I know, what about him...his responsibility...what he did. Well, we talked about it all the time for a year and a half. And because he is here in my house and I can go to him to discuss these things anytime, and I cannot with OW, and this is the only venue for OW venting, that is why I deal with her here.<P>Again, thank you all for your support...I will keep you apprised of any new developements.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

catnip, good luck with this. she needs a taste of her own medicine. go for it. and take care of you!!<P>duranie, i too have said that i would feel different if OW showed some remorse. but the one in our life doesn't. she got what she wanted, which was a baby from my H. i could deal with her if she was human. but unlike you, she is not. she could care less how she has affected my marriage, her child... what will she tell her daughter?? glad i am not her.<P>you made a mistake, we all do. but when people are sorry for their mistakes, it is different. that is why i forgave my H and stand by him. and why i hate the OW. she is not sorry. she never thinks of me, yet i am forced to include her in my thoughts.<P>good luck to you. and thanks for reminding us that not all OW are monsters. but some are...<P>happy_girl

catnip,<BR>I live in the Dallas area and was told by atty. that Alienation of Affection lawsuits could not be tried here. My atty. is board certified in Family Law, and very reputable. This was just last Sept., so unless they've made a change in the laws here you can't sue for AoA in TX. Maybe this atty. needs to be checked out a little.