Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040 |
Over the last few days, there have been several horrible stories on this board about the effects of infidelity on the children. I guess I should consider myself lucky because none of my kids have done anything self-destructive yet, although they are not the same children they used to be. They are far more cynical, more prone to fears that they can not explain, more in need of reassurance than they ever were before. Even the three year old has suddenly started talking about her father, when she hadn't mentioned his name except when he was physically present for several months. She thought she heard him walking around the other night, and came downstairs to look for him. I know that just because the kids are functional now doesn't mean they won't show effects later, and I am really scared. <P>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,101
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,101 |
Nellie1 -- I agree that all too often we tend to "forgt" that our kids are going through this as much as we are. For some the results are truly terrifying. My W and I have noticed changes in our D as well, but mostly it is they way she talks to us (much more forceful and defiant at times) and we try to be consistant in letting her know that this behavior is not appropriate. We have the advantage that we are back together and working together, but we still are having to battle this as well. I don't know, maybe at some point counseling for her will be necessary . . . for right now we are just giving her as much love as we can.<P>I realize that I haven't given you any advice, but I wanted to let you know that you are not the only one who is noticing this side effect of infidelity.<P>God Bless
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388 |
Nellie<BR>The fact that you care and don't want to ignore the possibilities can make all the difference in the world.<BR>I have seen too many cases where the children react because their feelings aren't taken seriously. I'm willing to bet this won't be a problem for your kids. You are very sensitive to their needs.<BR>Keep up the good work!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247 |
Nellie - I agree. And for older kids, it just seems worse. They go through enough just because of their age - everything is changing. These situations just send them spinning. We all try so hard to reassure them, to do what's right, but the fact of the matter is, it's gonna hurt and it's gonna shake their foundations. I know mine is taking a lot of attention. <P>I don't even know what to say. <P>Lori
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
144
guests, and
42
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,661
Posts2,323,621
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
