I have recently been engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful girl on this planet. I love her to death and I know I'm doing the right thing (she thinks so too!). I just had one question: does marriage, if the couple really loves each other, gradually become less and less "exciting"? I've had several older people tell me that "the love you have for her now will eventually fade as the years pass." Honestly, if the person you are marrying is really close to you and you both share a close emotional bond, is it really possible for the marriage to become dull or boring? Please give me some input!

Congrats on your engagement Joshua! I wish you both the best in your life together. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I just had one question: does marriage, if the couple really loves each other, gradually become less and less "exciting"? I've had several older people tell me that "the love you have for her now will eventually fade as the years pass." </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Love and Excitement are two very different things.

My LOVE for my husband has grown stronger over the years. He is my best friend, confidant, and favourite recreational companion. I don't want to imagine my life without him in it. However, the 'sparkle and firework EXCITEMENT' of our courtship has cooled. Our feelings of being IN LOVE come and go in cycles and this is fine with us. We are very happy.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Honestly, if the person you are marrying is really close to you and you both share a close emotional bond, is it really possible for the marriage to become dull or boring? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sorry to burst your bubble but... Yes. That close emotional bond requires work to keep it alive.

Life happens. People get focused on careers, children, friends, and hobbies. People get serious illnesses, lose thier jobs, have friends/family members die, ets. Life happens and even people who love each other more than life itself can become distracted/tired/stressed/uncommunicative and fail to put the effort needed into thier marriage.

This is a good place to learn how to prevent that. Welcome.

Stable

You may get a better response if you post in Emotional Needs.

Stables comments are spot on, I have been with my H for 15 years and married for 12 years with 3 children, I still love my husband as much as the early days, I have found that another special bond has formed over the years as well, sort of like having your Grandmothers favorate hanky or broach after she has gone, just like G/ma's special item he holds so much of my life, all of the most wonderful and the worst parts of our lives have been shared together such as the arrival of our 3 wonderful children, the deaths of loved ones etc. Our relationship is not the same as the early days but that certainly dosn't mean that it has changed for the worst, not all change is bad. The 2 things that I feel are the most challenging things you will do in your lifetime is to raise children and maintain a marriage, they are also the hardest things you will do at the same time, both need constant work, but it is a wonderful job with priceless rewards. One warning is, be careful that you don't wake up one day and discover you have gone, I don't mean physically I mean you become so involved playing the parts of somebodies mum/dad, wife/husband that you forget to maintain yourself, your own identity, work at remaining the 2 individuals that you were when you fell in love, getting married is easy it is only a wedding it is the marriage that needs the effort. I wish you luck, I hope your marraige delivers you good health and happiness.
Alice.