My H and I have been together for 5 years. We had some problems in August/September 99 and separated for about 2 months. He moved in with a friend, I moved back home with my parents and my our two children. During our separation, he met the OW. If you want to call her woman. She was 18 when they met. Lied and told my H she was 23. My H just turned 30 in June.... I am 26. H and I decided to work out our problems I guess in Oct or so, we didnt move back with each other yet, but we were getting along very well. HA so I thought. I found out in Feb that there was another W. I didnt find out she was pregnant until March. She was 6 months or so when I found out. Baby was born May 31. Beautiful little boy. Looks like my oldest son. (GOD IT KILLS ME TO ADMIT THAT). THIS GIRL was pregnant by my H TWO WEEKS after she met him!!!! WHO in there right mind would have a child with someone they only knew for two weeks? My H unfortuantley DID waffle, for about 3 months. Sorta of. He only told me once that he wanted to be with her and that lasted not even a week, he just continued to see her while he was with me. July 4th was the final showdown in that department. I caught him at her house, ripped him a new one and told him never speak to me again. Well, he chased me down, stalked me almost I would say.... I finally gave in. Life has been hell though. I sometimes think life would be so much easier to just be without him. I constantly worry about him calling her, seeing her behind my back, She is constantly calling him and guilt tripping him about the baby. She refuses to let him see the baby unless she is there. He hasnt seen the baby in two months, because I told him if he was going to play that way with her, count me outta the game. If he wanted to see his son, he would get a lawyer and go for visitation. My life basically sucks now though because I am always worried about him seeing her or lying or calling her or whatever. You have no idea how wonderful it is to know I am not alone in this.

Welcome Littlebird..glad you found us here. Wish you didnt have to, but it is nice not to be alone in this mess, isnt it.<BR> Lots of Love<BR> Angel

littlebird,<P>Welcome to our sad little club. I am so happy that you found your way here. You are now going through one of the most difficult things to survive. You are not alone. Come here to list you troubles, fears, and hopes, we are with you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Has your H made any attempts to get a lawyer for visitation? How are your children handling it? your in my prayers.<P>babstr.<P>

Not yet... we are waiting for the child support paperwork to come in. Then he is going to discuss the visitation with the support people... We are not even sure that is the way to go. But we dont know how this stuff works... All I know is this is a constant worry for me. I hate feeling like this. I hate not being able to trust my H. But all his waffling (why is it called that anyway) didnt help any. I think he was feeling like he needed to be with her because she was pregnant. Then because she was telling him that if he was with me he would never see his son. I just am sooo tired of the whole situation. I honestly dont know if its worth it to me to bother going thru all this.

Welcome Littlebird,<BR> It sounds to me like OW is using OC to force contact with your H. Also sounds like your H needs to be reminded that he has a prior committment to you and the family he made with you by marriage. Nothing else matters. Have you all gotten DNA proof that the baby is his, If so, sorry for asking, I may have missed it somewhere. In our case, baby isn't here yet. I am sorry to hear about your situation, but I am glad to know that you have come here. It's an excellent place to be when you have to go through this kind of a mess in your life.

little bird,<P>so sorry you are in this boat with all of us here. but you found a good place. everyone here is wonderful as i am sure you have already noticed.<P>the OW sounds like she is going to use this child to manipulate your H. she is after all just a child herself. and probably very immature. i admire guys wanting to be involved in their childrens lives, but sometimes it is just not for the best. he has an obligation to you and his family. i feel for you and can't imagine what you are going thru. <P>there needs to be strict rules about him seeing the OC. no OW needs to be involved. she will just have to get used to it. and your H needs to stand by you and straighten us the mess he has made. he can't have both. it is either you or OW. don't let him trample all over your feelings. daycare disaster could tell you all about that. maybe she will pop in.<P>well, take care of yourself. and read the MB site. lots of interesting stuff on it.<P>you are no longer alone. consider yourself a part of our family. welcome.<P>happy_girl