Dear Flowerseed<P>I saw your post under "EMA results in pregnancy in other woman" and my heart goes out to you. The affair, the OC -- that all hurts enough. But, when you knew something was going on, directly asked your H if that was the story and he convinces you that you're the crazy one -- that makes the suffering all the more intense.<P>I also guessed that my H was having an affair and with the person he was with. He would get angry and tell me that "I" was tearing our marriage apart with these baseless accusations. <P>When I found out that it was all true and that an OC was on the way, I felt like such a fool for having trusted him.<P>You seem to be in a very bad state for a very long time. Have you considered getting counseling to help ease you through? I tried it and it honestly helped. Dr. Harley's principles are wonderful and if your H is committed to working out the marriage then it would be worth a try.<P>You have a 5-yr old who loves and needs you. If not for your H, then for the sake of your D, you need to get your life back on track. All of us on this board are proof positive that it is possible to live through this and to return to some type of normal life -- sometimes the relationship is stronger and better as a result of the new and deeper communication between the partners.<P>For now, be assured that there are so many of us who understand where your head is right now and we're pulling for you. So, lean on us and let us help you get through this rough spot. I'll be praying for you.<P>- Heavenly

Hi heavenlybody26, Yes I have though about counsiling. There really isnt enough money for that . I just found this site yesterday and I have read some of Dr. Harleys and it really does help alot of what I have read so far really makes sense. I was really getting better until that phone call last Nov which took 6 months to get where I was at then I got set right back to the beginning only with more mistrust added in. Weve been getting blasted about every 6 months now Ive made it threw the worst. I did something stupid last week and called her. I was mad cause now she wants our income tax for the back child support that added up from the date that she filed the suit. She gets 78.00 a week they take it out of H check. It around 1000.00 it just makes me so mad that she has no concern about how any of this affects our family. I asked her how she could live with herself with what she has done . She said H told her at the time this was going on that he was only here for our dauther and that there was nothing between us.She said she was not no home wreaker and he said there was no home to wreck. He denies saying this to her. I dont know who to believe he says now that it happened 3 times she says it happened alot and that it had went on from Nov 1998 til April 1999 give or take few thats probly right. She knew what she was doing when she would call I would give him the messages or Hon pnone for you I trusted the both of them. Man it makes you feel like such a fool. I also asked her about saying that she got herpes from my H which she said he got from me. She did say this said her Doc told her this. What a creep she trys to take whats mine and then tries to blame her V.D. on me yukkkk.Its been really hard not to go and knock her head in. I just keep telling myself that people that do these kind of things will get theres in the end. I got a look at her when we went for test she wasnt so high and mighty there. I cant understand what my H was thinking she is so nasty looking. I also asked her how she could do this to this baby one day he will have to know how he was consieved. HOW SAD! She said well I messed up. Her plan didnt work the way she though it would did it? She has no idea the hell she will go through dealing with what they have done I feel so bad for this little boy.I asked her if she felt like a prositute she said he never paid me for sex I said you get paid every week now. That made me feel better. I am going to be all right it really helps coming here. Nobody in either of our familys knows about this except my 24 year old dauther.I had to tell her I just had my first Grandson same age as ow child at the time I would look at him and think only of this other child and it would really bother me I felt I owned her explation as to why mom was so sad. Iam fine now he is almost 1 year old and cute as can be. Gotta fly time to get dauther of to school she just started kidegarden.Thanks for being there Love flowerseed Heres a little saying( If you live threw it and it doesnt kill you youre the stronger because of it) wow what a rough way to get strong !<P>------------------<BR>