The lawyers we saw last night was just too perfect!!!<P>He actually laughed as we were telling him ow excuses for not wanting H to see baby. (Because he is with me and because H lied to her) He said that has NOTHING to do with whether he is a fit parent or not. They wont tell him supervised visitation because he has two children so obviously he knows what he is going. He was also excited about her getting pregnant two weeks AFTER she met my H. He is going to go with the "She got pregnant with the intention of trapping my client into a relationship" He is ordering a DNA test, (we already know baby is his, lawyer said its just the point, that if he has to pay cs he better be damn sure that baby is his) he is also having Kevin file for FULL CUSTODY. His theory is that she will see that and get scared and start to think, man he might really win, and agree to joint custody without having to go to court. ALSO.... She still lives with her parents, her parents are helping her with lawyer money and things like that. NOw, she told her family that she has known Kevin for two years before she got pregnant. Her mother is giong to be PISSED when she finds out it was TWO FREAKIN WEEKS.<P>Kevin and I are going to sit down this weekend and call her and let her know a little of whats going to happen. Maybe she will get scared and let him see the baby and we wont have to go through all this. But like I told Kevin, you are getting a joint custody agreement signed or else everytime she gets pissed she will just not let you have him. So last night went VERY VERY WELL!!!<P><BR>Karie's doing the happy dance now!!!<P>WOO HOO!!!<BR>

That is GREAT news! Our lawyer did that also...filed for full ustody to freak ow out...Id say the plan worked. Ow freaked and dropped her suit.<BR>They just dont get it do they?<BR>We are Wives...Hear us RoaR!

congratulations, I am always happy to hear some good news on this site. It doesn't really happen that often, and it lifts my spirits to hear it.<P>babstr.

Hey Littlebird----<BR>Just a little background. I am an XOW(goodness it feels good to FINALLY refer to myself as that) with twin OCs.<BR>Based on that background I can give you my opinion on what is going on...<BR>First off, I think it is great that you are willing to "accept" the OC. That takes a lot of courage and I think you are an awesome person for doing that....<BR>Secondly, scare tactics are good in terms of custody, but sometimes they can backfire on you. I am just warning you on this. Custody fights can get very expensive and very nasty. I have seen many people walk out of family court with very little dignity intact..<BR>The fact that she is living with her parents can be good and bad. One it shows she is unable to support herself. But, on the other hand it also shows that she has strong family support.....<BR>My best advice to you guys is to continue to have a strong UNITED front. Listen to your lawyer and let your lawyer do the talking. He/she knows what they are doing and they will help you out.<BR>Keep a level head and good luck with what you are doing. This child is very lucky to have you as a potential parent.....Good luck!<BR>

I cant help but to love that baby... he is a beautiful little boy and looks like my oldest son. Dont get me wrong, deep deep down it hurts my hurt that my H did this to me. However, this isnt the babies fault. he didnt ask to be born. I'm mature enough to understand that. And, the fact that she lives with her parents is a MINUS in her case. Her mother is having an affair that she broadcasts to anyone who will listen. Even has the nerve to wear an engagement ring from her boyfriend.... Her father spends weekends having parties and getting high with her 15 year old brother. Not a healthy environment. <P>I honestly think if we wanted it, we could have full custody. But I wouldnt do that to anyone. I KNOW how I would feel if someone tried to take my babies from ME!! <P>My H just wants him Friday night to Sunday night. She wont let him see the baby at all but is real quick to ask for money or clothes or whatever. <P>I have to keep reminding myself that she is young first of all, she is also influenced alot by her family. <P>I have talked to her myself and she is a nice girl... I feel more pity for her then anything else. <P>Sad... the way I look at it, this child has two sets of families just waiting to love him. He will get two birthday parites every year, two christmases every year, two of everything. <P><BR>

I guess her living at home is a definite strike against her. With that situation it works very well in your favor.in terms of custody.<BR>But, if you honestly feel that this child is in ANY HARM, etc. put your feeligs aside as a mother personally and do what is best for the child. If you think that child would be better off with you guys, than do that. Do not worry about stealing her baby or anything like that. Like I said I have a lot of admiration for you in terms of how you are doing this. I havenothing but respect for your handling of this situation. Good luck to all of you and LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYERS!!!<BR>BTW, if you guys are giving her ANYTHING (clothes,money,etc.), PLEASE keep any and all receipts and DO NOT GIVE HER CASH. Always use money orders and write on the money orders FOR CARE OF _____(child's name).

Littlebird,<P>Congrats! I'm so happy for you. Good news is such a pleasure around here. I must say, though, you are one hellava woman! You have obviously taken this child into your heart and willing to take this child into your home. Lucky child. I couldn't do it. My H oc is cute and innocent, too. but I could never have her in our lives...too painful and a constant reminder of my H betrayal...as if I needed to be reminded! But I'm happy for you. Hugs!<P>Comfort

Littlebird,<P>Congratulations to an extraordinary lady!<P>It brought tears to my eyes when you described your love for the OC. That is a very lucky boy to have two sets of parents who love him. I have been struggling for years with the guilt I feel over not wanting the OC in my life.<P>You gave me hope that maybe I should examine my heart again and try to find a little space where the OC might fit.<P>Best of luck to you and your H. I will pray for you both that things go your way.<P>- Heavenly

Heavenely, <P>I can definitely understand your feelings towards other child. I think when I first found out about him... the first words out of my mouth to my H was "Walk away". Pay the child support and walk away. <P>But being the man that he is, he couldnt do that and I suppose I should be thankful that he couldnt. <P>I think the only reason I handle this as well as I do is because I can rationalize it easier in my mind. See when H met OW. He and I were separated for various reasons, money, being the number one. <P>So the way I figure to myself. I technically was NOT in the picture when she got pregnant. He technically didnt cheat on me. (In REALITY, even though we were separated, he DID cheat on me because the whole time we were apart he was begging me to come back and work on our relationship, calling me coming to see me... that sort of thing) He didnt even wait a month before he found his OW. So ya know. Its all in how I let myself look at it. If I think at certain things in a certain way, I would NOT be able to forgive him. But I love him and I want us to be together so I see things the way they make ME feel better. Does that make any sense whatsoever?<P>Rereading it... it sounds like.... gibberish!! LOL....