Well tomorrow is my four year anniversary. My H is going out of town for five days on military junk. So it will be me and my two year old daughter for the rest of this week. My H also took the job in Ohio. So he leaves October 8, and we will follow the end of the month. <P>Of course I am trying not to be paranoid, but I just found out that the person he will be working for, a vice president of the company, is a woman! I don't know why I assumed it was a man, but in the month that he has been doing interviews and such, he never mentioned it. Like that makes me feel comfortable. New female boss, and I am over here in Illinois. I guess I am going to have to stay calm and not think bad thoughts.<P>I have a ton of things that I am going to have to do. My fears I am trying to control. My mom is having a hysterectomy done on Friday morning. So I will go to my parent's house in about five days and try to help her. I feel like my plate is getting way too full, and I am just trying to hold on and keep my sanity. We also bought a new secondary car tonight that my husband will drive to Ohio. We were living with only one car. So here I have medical, moving, new car, new search for home, and it is my anniversary, talk about my head spinning. Got any advice to get me grounded, and trying not to overload. By the way we are still waiting on the court papers for the child support to get here. <P>babstr.

Babstr, Honey...<P>Advice? From me? Hahaha...I think not! I am the Poster Child for for mayhem and confusion, HOWEVER! There are some things you can do to minimize the stress and anxiety. Take it one issue at a time.<P>You have a lot of issues to deal with all at once, but I know you can handle this. It will be OK. <BR>I've developed an attitude of 'so what?'...it works for me, what else can they do to me? Pretty much the worst has happened to you so there is nowhere to go but up.<P>The move may be a blessing in disguise, Babstr, even though you feel forced into this and it is not something you want to do. There might be something wonderful waiting for you in Ohio...maybe a new and stronger marriage...a fresh new beginning, a new opportunity. You don't know this yet.<P>The anxiety over the woman boss may be a non-issue. You have to remember most people are not lecherous, immoral pigs and she may be a dowdy older gal who is all business and spends her weekends in adoration of her husband and children. And more importantly, any extra-marital anything is probably the LAST thing on your husband's mind...kind of like aversion therapy. <P>When the papers came about CS and DNA and the OFP and the XYZ,...they were set aside in a basket until I had the strength to deal with it. Procrastination is not something I am recommending, Babstr, but if isn't something you can handle or deal with alone while you and spouse are geographically seperated, don't handle it. Let it sit until he is with you. <P>Finding a new home can be an adventure. It will be a brand new place, a brand new beginning...somewhere for just you and your husband and your child. you can make this place special, develope new memories, a place to strengthen your marriage...a new attitude and fill this new place with specialness and love. <P>I know moving is a pain, I hate it. And being away from family and your Mom's surgery is upsetting, but I know you can get through this is you take it one step at a time, one issue at a time and one day at a time.<P>Keep your computer plugged in (pack last) and keep us informed what is going on and how you are. We'll all be here for you to help get through the rough times. Just know we are here for you and we're just keystrokes away.<P>Catnip =^^=<P>PS You could celebrate your Anniversary by writing your husband a love letter telling him how deeply you love him and how you want to make your new home a special place. A man can't resist a woman in love with him. <p>[This message has been edited by catnip (edited September 21, 2000).]

Babstr: Ditto what Catnip said. I hate when she get's here first cause then there's nothing left to say.<P>She's a smart lady. Just take things day by day. You can do it. Think of that poem "footprints". I cry and get goosebumps every single time I read that. It's true. When I look back at hard times in my life it seems sureal(sp?) and I wonder how the heck I made it through it all.<P>You are in my thoughts. And you better check in with us during the time your H is gone. We'll be worried about you. Do something absolutely romantically sexually unforgettable for your H for your anniversary. Let him take that when he leaves his wonderful family. His eyes will only begin to refocus by the time you get there. Good Luck Babstr. Things are going to work out. You'll see. Take Care. I'm thinking about you. <P>------------------<BR>Lost Soulmate<P>"Character is doing what's right, when no one is looking"

I agree...Catnip always leaves nothing left for anyone else to say...lol . Gotta love her for it though!<BR>I think I already told you this but Im going to be repetative today. My H is also army and we now live 3 days from my family. It was the best thing we could have done. You are there with your family. No outsiders trying to come in your door...however well meaning they are. It is just you and your H and kids. It is wonderful therapy.<BR>I knew it was going to be wonderful here bc on the way there was a full rainbow once we crossed the state line. No kidding, it was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. Also there was a song that came on the radio called Startover Georgia. I have no idea who sings it and have only heard it one time since. (we moved to Ga). For me it was a sign of new beginnings. That is what it can be for you also.<BR>Dont get me wrong it was hell when we first got here, but as of now we are such a strong couple. We both realize how much we love each other and how close we came to losing the best thing we ever had...our future as a family. <BR>May God bless you in your new beginning...<p>[This message has been edited by broken_wings (edited September 21, 2000).]

Babstr,<P>Happy anniversary. I hope there is a rainbow waiting for you in Ohio -- in the form of a H who is knocking himself out to make your marriage work.<P>Best wishes<BR>- Heavenly

Dear Babstr,<P>Happy 4th Anniversary! Congratulations on<BR>your new beginning!