Dearest Comfort41,<BR> Thank you soooo much for your quick response. It made me start crying all over again! But this time, it was a cry of relief! Finally, someone who understands and that I can talk to. I haven't been able to tell anyone. I'm so humiliated! I'm sure there are women out there who must feel the same way. What's wrong with us? I've been told I'm an attractive woman. I exercise regularly, I'm well-groomed, polite to people......so why do men go looking elsewhere? Even as I type this I know the answer....it's the same for everyone else. Excitement, someone new that will give them an ego-trip. Tell them how wonderful they are. I guess hearing it from the same person for 20 years was too boring! Hell, I was bored too, but I didn't go looking for another man! I feel like it now, though! I have the same problem you do, however, I'm very much in love with my husband. I can't even imagine the thought of another man touching me. I can't even imagine another woman touching my husband! Still very painful. I will write often. Thank you so much, Comfort. I'm happy to hear there is still hope. God bless you too. You are truly an amazing woman. I am taking "comfort" in your strength. Hugs for you and yours. Thank you. <BR>Surreal22<BR>

Surreal,<P>I'm so happy that my words were able to help in some small way. They truely come from my heart. There are so many others on here that can offer their experiences and advise as well. Read the many posts. You will find that there are people going through the exact same feelings, anger, rage, disappointments, frustrations, insecurities..etc. You truely are not alone! You made me laugh when you said that you were bored also *lol* - I KNOW THAT feeling, too!! And, like you, I neither went looking for "excitement" or someone to tell me how damn good looking I am. Instead, I counted my blessings and stayed faithful...not perfect...because we're always growing and learning. But I was faithful and tried to be a good wife and mother. So...I looked inward for reassurance...my H was weak and selfish and looked outward. Anyway...thanks for the good laugh. Everyday I try to find something to laugh about. A couple of days ago we got more papers in the mail regarding upcoming court date. Well, attached to the papers was a copy of the dna results. There was a polaroid snapshot of my husband and other vital info. Behind his pic, was a polaroid snapshot of the OW. She and OC took dna in another city. For security purposes, all parties are required to take picture. Well....I got the biggest laugh when I saw her. I just started laughing and couldn't stop! I've only seen her once, 4 years ago at a distance and briefly. I couldn't really remember what she looked like. I'd been wishing that I could remember. Well, I got my wish. That was my laugh for the day...and night...and next day! I told my H that if he was going to cheat, why'd she have to look like roadkill. I think I was insulted! *LOL* ... Anyway, post often. We ALL CARE and we're here to support and get you through this. I don't come every day, but at least every other day. I'll keep you in my prayers.<P>Hugs<P>Comfort