Thank you, Thank you!!! so much for making us feel "not so alone"! I thought the infedility issues would be the greatest hurdle to overcome. I was wrong. I know now there is now so much more. I couln't go to work today because I was so over whelmed and I LOVE my job!! But at the end of the day I felt my energy returning a bit. I spent a lot of the day reading past posts and it helped so much. It's amazing how much I have learned from all of you.<P>My H read what you all had written and would like to post too but wanted to know if any husbands who are, or had been in his sitiuation post or answer them? I think he needs this but feels a little uncomfortable.<P>We did talk a little tonight, but he fell asleep early on the couch. He was open but I could tell he had enough of dealing with this tonight. He did call several times today and stoped by to see how I was today and we always ended up talking about things. I think he had about enough and sort of "passed out". I need to know so much right now and maybe I say and ask the same things over and over, but I have to try to remember that as with the discovery of the affair that I do need to back off a bit and be patient to get all the answers. That too is hard.<P>"Her" X boyfriend called my H at work to talk to him about "her" moving out of the place they shared and what may be still his etc. It seems that she may be moving back with him. I really hope so. That would make me feel much better knowing that she is doing something else than wanting and waiting for my husband!!!<P>Again, thank you so much.<P>I wish you peace for the aproaching day. And hope to get to know all of you wonderful people a bit better in the near future.

cantbelievethis,<P>I just wanted to tell you that my H and I went to counselling to deal with his affair. The first thing the counsellor told my H was that I would need to talk, talk, talk about the whole situation. And that he should allow me to talk and answer my questions even if I have already asked them. This is a phase that you go through during the discovery of the affair.<P>However,the counsellor did say you should avoid asking questions over and over again which bring you deliberate pain (like details about sex) or questions which have no answer (the biggest one being "how could you do this to me?"). <P>No answer is going to be satisfactory. There is absolutely nothing that your H can say that will make the A allright in your eyes and the deed is already done and can't be taken back.<P>All other questions, he said, are part of the natural healing process. All of the questions, the hurt, the venom -- needs to come out if you are to heal the wounds properly to set the foundation for the rebuilding of your relationship.<P>Personally I think that if your H wants to post here we would all be happy to do what we can to welcome him, make him feel comfortable and help him with his issues. I am sure that other men would be happy to give advice.<P>- Heavenly