To all the guys out there...married or not...do you know the difference between "being in love" with the person vs simply "love the person"...

Anyhow...I've always discussed this with my partner even the day before we got married...but until now, he doesn't know the difference. Not that it matters all the time...but somehow, when arguments come up and conflicts arise...I think that's where it kicks in...when you're in love with somebody...you simply cannot afford to sleep thru the night without resolving open issues with your loved one...especially knowing that your wife is bothered and is crying all night. Sorry, if my note seems too vague...but I'm still getting used to this forum stuff, since I just joined last night to vent out and I still have to get used to expressing myself online, which I normally keep to myself.

Any comments or whatever kind of reply...will help.

Till next time....

Know exactly how you feel. My wife says she is not in love with me. She has only recently told me this, but I have "felt it" for over 3.5 years.

She had an affair which I believe convinced her she wasn't "in love"

They have a "I could care less attitude"--They are often very critical of you. They will turn their back on you when you hurting the most.

I am sorry, you are feeling this. I know what a prision it must feel like to know your spouse isn't in love. You sit there in bed thinking, "my spouse doesn't love me" "They are not happy" "They don't find me attractive" and all of that ugly stuff.

I am sorry

Thanks for you reply...although, I'm sorry to hear about what your wife did. See, that's kind of my worst fear...it's that question in my head, how long are we going to last...

My FWW told me basically the same thing ... she loved me as a friend and as a partner, but she wasn't IN LOVE with me. At the time she said it, she was still very much in the FOG ... comparing those moments of intense passion to our 14 yr relationship. Not a pleasant feeling.

It's that incredibly intense passion OR if you are not in a situation where there is an affair, it is the LACK of that intense passion that confuses us on what love is.

I know my wife is not IN LOVE with me. Because of all of the pain she has caused me over the past few months, I don't believe I am IN LOVE with her anymore. But she loves me, and I love her. That makes a great starting place to rekindle the feelings of being IN LOVE.

If you haven't gotten Harley's book, "His Needs, Her Needs" I would highly recommend it. It addresses how to rebuild that feeling of romantic love.

Take care!

Zaed