I read one of your posts in Womens Bible Study today. I just wanted to tell you that your an amazing women! Always replied to me with such compassion, and good advise, a long with many others in here. I replied in here and not on the post because, I have no sound advice on subjects dealing with god. Yes, I am a christian, just not a very educated one. God Blessed this room when he directed you here!

Dear Noodles,<P>Thank you for your wonderful encouragement and replying up here. We are in a dreadfully tough situation. Without God, I wouldn't be alive because I don't think I have the fortitude to take such a heinous blow. With God, all things are possible. <P>I am no scholar of the bible at all. I have many friends who try to live by the Word of God, and their lives bear out the testimony that Jesus is their Comforter as well as Defender and Deliverer. God is Mighty and He knows how much each of His children can bear, so the visions, dreams, messengers and revelations were a part of His preparation for me. I have never experienced anything like that, and probably never would again. It is said that 'it is through the storm that we see God's Face'. For me, I was left with the message 'Tis far better to have heard God's voice than to have the love of man'. <P>So, God is REAL, and I felt a peace I have never thought was possible. Even then, the struggles to overcome and the adultery tormentors are still there. I believe it is the continuous prayers of other Christians and God's amazing grace that keep us afloat half the time. I still want to learn more of God's Word and I have been given many books that are inspiring (authors Derek Prince, Lewis B Smedes, Max Lucado, Stormie Omartian) and help in relationships. I would highly recommend Stormie's book on prayers. She also has a book for prayers for children called "the power of the praying parent'.<P>I still fight very badly with my WS, and our relationship is totally shattered, dead and buried. The tombstone over the grave of our marriage is heavy and refuses to bulge under the weight of self-condemnation, lies, deceit, hurts, etc.. I should really fast and pray and ask for my family to do that with us together to ask God to help with a breakthrough. <P>Noodles, I am sure that like me, you want to be happy again and live like all these never happened and let go of the past. But it is so difficult for the mortal soul and mind to recover from such a blow. I guess even the physical wound takes time to heal, so those wounds that inhabit the mind and heart would take even a longer time.<P>At the heart of the betrayal is REJECTION. We feel rejected as a spouse, soulmate, lover, friend, confidante, person, etc..I will read a book I just bought on REJECTION by Derek Prince (soon) and if I find some nuggets of information, I will post here and down under.<P>God Bless You and Your 4 children and marriage<BR>weep<P>

I learn so much from your posts. I just love to read them. I walk away feeling uplifted. I am not sure if you saw my other post, after yours on the purpose of this site, by catnip, but I agree with you. It showed me something about the OW, but it set me back..so far. I feel like the discovery is happening all over again, now with the blood testing date soon to happen, I am in a constant state of dread. I don't know what to do. OW is saying she wants H to give up rights, can he? Its one thing after another. I feel bad to unload all of this on you, you have so many worries of your own. Thank you for your reply. God Bless you too.

Dear Noodles,<P>Thank you for your replies. Every word that I hear from the BS means a lot to me for the very reason that she cares enough to pick herself up despite the terrible odds that she was thrown her way...undeserved hurts and pain that she was never taught to deal with.<P>I see my childhood photo of the little girl in her Mary Janes with bright eyes and an intent look. It pains me that she grew up and is hurt so badly but when I look at her through my parents' eyes, especially my father's, I can imagine their hurts far outweigh mine. And this is reason enough to pick up, dust off, and toddler along before grabbing the life they nurtured and live fully. <P>I think that this mutual support for each other is important. I told my spouse that he will never never be able to understand the pain that I have and the anguish I feel. We are saddled with the hurts and they can only sit trying to figure out what that feels like. I think the closest they get is 'she must be feeling angry'. So, I guess, that the only gain we have from this pain is sharing and I actually feel happy as I visualise the new coat that Flowerseed's daughter is going to get, how wonderful it is to cuddle a 5 month old baby again like Noodles, etc..I also think what can I say to help Heavenly in her predicament, and Comfort, Jenny, Catnip, Happy_Girl, Broken-wings, anniem, matthew, etc..<P>I believe that there is a rainbow after the rain, and for some, it is found in a better marriage and for others that is found within ourselves. We open our eyes to a higher purpose - love God, love ourselves (as Comfort has articulated so well in another thread), love life, live well, etc..<P>Love <BR>weep

Dear Noodles,<P>You can start another thread and ask the Q about H's rights because they differ from state to state. You can yell for BYSTANDER because he has his thumbs in many such language. It is also available on the net and again I think Bystander can give you some info on how to get that.<P>God Bless<BR>Take care<BR>weep

Thank You Weep! Your messages always bring tears to my eyes, not of pain but joy! You are so special. I will contact Bystander..Thank You again.<P>Noodles