I was told by Weep to post to you because you had vast knowledge on this subject. I have a few questions. We have a lawyer, but he seems to be dragging his feet. I often wonder if he waiting on my H to tell him what he wants to do. Can a man give up rights to the oc? OW is saying she will allow this. Basically, you could take ohbratti's post, and take it as my OW. She states that the only reason she is going for paturnity, is to establish custody, which she already has, so it doesn't make sense to me. But I feel there are alterior motives, one because she did give the oc his last name, without his permission, I know she can do that, But that in its self makes me wonder. She says she is going to change oc name, Is it that simple? She states she wants no childsupport, but, has a lawyer, had paturnity papers sent over twice, one time we were served, the other was just to his lawyer,both times he denied, and requested blood testing. Seems to be putting this off, in my opinion. She also has a big hang up with visitation, in a round about way, has stated, (which you might have saw on here) that she is worried about me abusing the child. That is a whole other issue, since she did the same to her exH, it was never proven, but she did it just the same. It was sexual abuse, but she still continues to let the child go over to visit her father. I have a good idea what we are dealing with, I just don't know what rights he has, could you possibly help me out. If so, would be appriciated. Thank You.<BR>Noodles

<BR>noodles,<P>A quick question:<P>In what state does the child live right now? That drives the issue of jurisdiction, which I'll need to know. You should realize that I'm not a lawyer, none of this is legal advice, etc.<P>Bystander

Iowa. I know your not a lawyer, but any advice would be helpful. One more thing that might be helpful, is she has the child on state medical insurance. Not sure about FIP. Does that matter?

<BR>noodles,<P>The relevant Iowa statute is here:<P> <A HREF="http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IACODE/1999SUPPLEMENT/598/41.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IACODE/1999SUPPLEMENT/598/41.html</A> <P>And it says very clearly that Iowa carries a strong presumption of joint custody. The OW could petition the court to rebut the father's joint custody, but absent domestic violence, it looks like such a motion would fail. In fact, a prima facie reading of the legislation suggests that opposing liberal visitation would be held against her - and statements like, "I don't trust him or his wife" are going to be dismissed in court.<P>The way federal law is written, qualifying for government assistance requires women to name the father of the child. I wouldn't be surprised if Iowa had a similar requirement at the state level. So I am uncertain if having the child on the state medical insurance requires her to name the father to the social services agency. Usually, the social services agency takes the father's name and goes after him on their own - so I don't quite know what to make of her paternity papers.<P>As for voluntarily terminating his rights, this is in chapter 600A:<P> <A HREF="http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IACODE/1999SUPPLEMENT/XV.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IACODE/1999SUPPLEMENT/XV.html</A> <P>It appears that an OW can unilaterally petition to have the biological father's parental rights terminated. I don't know if that automatically relieves him of a child support obligation. While you would expect it to, be VERY careful here. Make sure your lawyer absolutely understands everything - you do not want to voluntarily terminate his parental rights only to find he can still be ordered to pay child support.<P>The question is, what do you want? Do you want contact with the OC?<P>Bystander

Thank You Bystander, I will read over the links you gave me. I appriciate all of your help. As for the question of oc, I have been leaving that up to H, but have recieved no real answer, think it is time to have him tell me exactly what he wants to do about the oc, not what I want to hear. Another quick question, Have you ever heard of anything like a marriage contract? We are in the process of establishing a partnership with business, and a contract must be in place there to protect all parties rights, Why would it be any differant for a marriage, seems to me, isn't it a contract for life?<BR>Thank you again for all your help.<P>Noodles

<BR>noodles,<P>Surf on:<P> <A HREF="http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IACODE/1999SUPPLEMENT/597/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IACODE/1999SUPPLEMENT/597/</A> <P>Bystander

Thanks Bystander.

Bystander,<P>I have been reading the links you gave me, I came across a few sections I don't really understand.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IACODE/1999SUPPLEMENT/600A/8.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IACODE/1999SUPPLEMENT/600A/8.html</A> <P>On this page it states, putative father, that is the presumed father right? Well, how can they terminate rights if he don't know if he is the father and no blood test has been conducted?, or I read this line:<P>"(c) Whether the putative father publicly acknowledged paternity or held himself out to be the father of the child during the six continuing months immediately prior to<BR>the termination proceeding. "<P>Does that mean, that if my H, told the ow that he would accept responsiblity, for the child, he's liable? I guess, I just didn't understand the whole page. Another thing I was looking over the other link, and came across this.<P>" (2) By the statement of the person admitting paternity in court and upon accurrence of the mother. If the mother was married, at the time of birth or conception of the child, to an individual other than the person admitting paternity, the individual to whom the mother was married at the time of birth or conception must deny paternity in order to establish the paternity of the person admitting paternity upon the sole basis of the admission. "<P>Does that mean that, if she was married at the time of the conception, and got a divorce later, she needs a statement from the H, saying it's not his, even though they were not living togeather at the time?<P>I am sorry to bother you so much, and I know I come off ignorant, I just want to make sure I understand all of this. Thank you again, so very much for your help.<P>Noodles