Dear Peace lover,<P>I read your response under the "Happy Thanksgiving" thread and I felt compelled to contact you. I am sorry that your Thanksgiving was ruined by the presence of your OC. And, even more sorry that your H feels the OC is so important that he doesn't understand your feelings.<P>My H came from a broken home and he was sneaking around behind my back trying to keep contact with the OC. The constant sneaking and lying almost destroyed our marriage. I gave him an ultimatum that there would be no more contact with the OC but he could not keep that promise and kept waffling. His concern over having this child "out there" was too much for him to walk away from.<P>It took us years to get to the point where he understood that his involvement with the OC was destroying our marriage. And now, we are on the road to recovery (God willing...) So,if you and your H are committed to each other, keep trying to make him see your side without anger and without bitterness -- just the facts.<P>He may surprise you by finally getting the message. I am glad that you have been able to find some comfort in your faith. It does not matter how you find God, it is only important that each of us does in our own way. My faith is stronger than ever and I know that God has answered many of my prayers, so don't stop praying for guidance and help. This is the toughest issue that our marriages will ever face.<P>And, I will pray for you as well -- that you and your H will find a way to deal with the situation where everyone will have some peace and contentment.<P>Blessings to you and don't be a stranger -- write to all of us whenever you need to.<P>- Heavenly