<BR> Dear floored,<P> I've been following your post, because our situations are so very similar. The diferences are that we're 14 months post discovery, and we're still living together. After taping some phone conversations, I find that we're essentialy where we were 14 months ago; my wife still loves OM, still has ongoing ER, possibly PR, and is still undecided who she is going to be with.<BR> I was thinking about delivering an ultimatum, but after reading Ks' advice to you, I decided maybe it was a bad idea.<BR> My wife says she still loves me, so maybe K is right, she's just not ready, so I will show her I love her and Angel until she is. <P> Don't give up, hang in there.<P> God bless you,<BR> <P>------------------<BR><P>Gregg

Gregg,<BR>When do you think Plan B should be implemented? I know that K could answer that better, and maybe he will post soon, but to me..I think she has been having her cake and eating it too. Isn't this tearing your heart out? How are you holding up, knowing what you know now? Is OM seeing Angel behind your back? Is your wife showing any sign of guilt for decieveing you all this time? I don't understand how she could do this to you after all that you have done with accepting Angel as your own and raising her. I can't say that I wouldn't do what you are, if I was in your shoes..but I pray that I won't have to go through what you are. The pain must be terrible and you will be on my prayer list tonight.<BR>Floored

Dear floored,<P> I think plan B should be implemented when you have reached the end of your predetermined plan A time frame, and you have seen no progress. <BR> Yes, OM is seeing Angel, maybe not behind my back, but my wife is minimizing her relationship with OM. Yes, it hurts, but I knew it would. The reason I am still with her is because I made a promise to her when I married her. Whatever she has done does not change my commitment to her. <BR> She shows a lot of guilt, and probably feels more than I know. <BR> I don't know how to tell you how to do what must be done, you just do it. If you cherish your wife as much as I do mine, you do what is necesary to keep her, and sometimes that means letting go. I think you will know when that time arrives.<BR> Try to work on yourself,take care of yourself, better yourself, take your focus off your wife, become the self confident man she married. You can't change the way she thinks, so stop trying.<BR> I am no expert, I'm winging it, just like you are. I'm just passing on what I've learned in 14 months.<P><BR> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR><P>Gregg

Sorry to but in gentlemen, but remember that plan b is also to help keep the love you have for your spouse from dying. When their actions start to make you question how much you love them then IMO it's time to start thinking about plan b, maybe not to do it but to start running it through your mind to decide if that is what it will take to protect your love and your heart. <P>BTW, as usual, I must say that MB men rock !<P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>